Say What?!? Saturday

You live where?!?!?!

Um... I think I'll pass on that dinner party, I don't wanna itch...

Say what?!? Saturday

I realized the other day that I DO still have some of those random ass pictures from around the metro area that I wanted to use for a weekly feature.  I know I've talked about it a few times, but now I'm doin it.  So here it is, my first installment of Say what?!? Satuday.

 

 

 

 

That is one really big Keebler Elf!!!

Love!!!

Holiday Madness

I don't know about everyone else, but the holidays always stress me out.  This year was no different.  I ended up having to work on Christmas Eve, which sucked ass we weren't busy enough to justify being open, and when I got off work early that afternoon I baked FOUR batches of cookies to take to our family Christmas that evening.  I also cooked dinner for the ex and his step-sister before they left town.  (so nice of me... I really need to stop being so damn nice, makes him think he can walk all over me and treat me like shit...)

All of this, plus cleaning, made me late for our traditional evening festivities.  Add to that taking a wrong exit to a place I go to at least once a month, and you have one stressed out Sassy Miss...

When I FINALLY got back on the right road I realized I had forgotten the cookies.  I spent hours baking and left them on my damn cabinet in the festive red tub I had bought just for this occasion... I also had forgotten the foreign-cheese tray I had made up (I was broke this year so I did food).

Upon getting to Gigi's house, things went rather smoothly.  I watched the kids open presents.  Watched all the adults do the same.  I didn't even care that I wasn't opening anything, I love watching all of their faces and seeing all the knickknacks.

Story of the night:  "Wanna feel my ball?"  Uncle B got a rubbery handsized football from my dad and was asking all the women above 18 this.  Lots of laughs all around with this one.

The next day we had our traditional Christmas lunch.  Unfortunately Granny Barb and Grandpa Del are not with us anymore (haven't been for a few years) so it was different than I'm used to (still different anyway).  However, we did have them there in spirit.



Grandpa Del and his favorite soda at lunch.

The girls had me video them cooking our lunch.  I tried to upload it but mom's computer won't let me :(

My family is a riot!

I ended up getting a really really nice new camera from my mother.  She threatened poor Tank's life if he got ahold of this one--which I totally understand due to this and this.  Of course you know this means no more boring, pictureless posts; unless I'm just feeling boring or lazy.

The ex got Tank and Cleo a stocking full of toys and a huge rawhide for Christmas.  I told them it was from Santa for obvious reasons.  I was a little more practical: a new collar/leash for Cleo and a bed for Tank's brandnew HUGE crate since hard plastic is uncomfortable (which now needs a good washing... damn dog lol).  Here are the kids with their presents:

After all this craziness, I had New Year's Eve.  This could be a post all on it's own but I'm lazy, it's getting late, and I have an episode of Vampire Diaries to watch!

Oh NYE... such crazy fun.  Well, it ended that way, didn't start that way.  The ex and I got into a huge fight when I went to pick him up to find masks for later that night.  Needless to say, we are no longer in contact except to update each other on family health issues (both our fathers just had cancer scares this week, his father's test hasn't come back yet...).  The rest of the night went off pretty damn well though.

The first stop of the night was a Business on Top, Party on Bottom party in the neighboring town.  Twala and I got lost trying to find it, as did the car we were following (they lost us and found it...).  It was kinda low key.  A good handful of people, margaritas, and general goodtimes.  Twala ended up having to leave early, so I road with my friend CC and the others to our main party of the night, a masquerade (can't be topped right?  wrong.  It was at a Dr. Suess-like house!)

I invited my new Irish friend I had met a few nights before at Bison Witches.  He's funny and adorable.  Apparently he's interested, but we'll see how that goes considering my recent situation.  I also ran into a guy I hadn't seen in over a year, MW.

(MW and I met at our house warming party the ex and I and our roommates at the time had.  None of the four of us knew him or his friend that came along.  In fact, they showed in their work clothes and many people thought they were cops.  Being the badass protective person I am, I met them halfway through the yard to make sure they weren't just party crashing or trying to arrest us.  Needless to say, he ended up making out with another guest and being the center of gossip that night!)

No one kissed at midnight.  We missed it actually.  Depressing right?  Not really, I think we all just ended up walking around the house kissing each other saying "happy new year" for the rest of the night, haha.  I played some champagne pong and lost horribly.  I think I had a bottle and a half by myself that night, but it really doesn't do much for me anymore.  Played some card games, smoked some hookah (if you haven't tried this stuff, you must!  It's legal and so much fun), and danced.  Of course there was a little drunken drama, but that is expected, nothing that ruined anyone's night.

When I got home the next afternoon, I spent the rest of the day in bed.  You know it was a good NYE when you wake up at like 8pm the next day!  I would give you more details, but they're private (yes I do remember the whole night lol).  How about we settle for some pictures?

My kickass hair and makeup for the night!

 

Hammie and I

CC and lil CC!

Madi and I with Irishman in the back.

W and I

Red hot glow for NYE!

Hope you guys had fun too!

Love!!

2011 In Retrospect

Here I sit waiting impatiently for the year on my computer to change.  No I'm not going to be sitting here watching the seconds tick by, I'm going to be out celebrating the end of a trying year and the beginning of MY year.

2011 has been one of the hardest years I have had to bare in my 23 (almost 24!!) years.  Don't get me wrong, there have been many wonderful things as well, but this was my year to be broken and reborn.

Financial difficulties have plagued me mostly, as well has health issues.  I spent half my summer in the sweltering Oklahoma heat wave without air conditioning.  Tank, bless is chaotic soul, ate my camera (and source of extra spending money...).  Roxi got copper poisoning and made the kitchen look like a scene out of a Friday the 13th movie.  I've come close to losing my job.  Matt and I ended things and have been somewhat rocky ever since (currently things are great as friends).  Bestie turned her back on me (oh, I didn't tell you guys about that one... another time maybe...).  My Sooners lost in Bedlam... ugh...  I've a nasty, white trash person thinking they are better than me and bash me publicly, when in fact they can't lift a candle to my inner beauty and integrity.  My Meme had to have brain surgery but nothing was found, so they have to start over from the beginning to save her.  I've been screwed over, chewed up, spit out, walked all over, and made to feel completely worthless.

But despite all of that, I can honestly say this year was an important step in me figuring out more of who I am and where I'm going.  I have grown so much stronger.  I know what I deserve and how worth it I am.  I know who I can count on to be here for me no matter how "stupid" I'm being or how "dangerous" the road I've chosen may be.  Tank and I have learned that we can make it on our own; we've even added a little one to the family, Cleo the miniature schnauzer.  I have decided to undertake the steps I have to take to get my Masters' of Psychology (focus on abnormal psychology) and then join the military as an officer.  I've started eating right, experimenting with recipes and foreign foods (CHEESE!!!).  I lost 50 lbs in the last year and have almost reached my goal weight, so I started focusing more on toning than losing now.  I have come into my own in the social, dating, and sexual aspects of myself.  I told my mother the truth about so many things this year, we have become closer.

I may have been broken into tiny, minute pieces, but I'm picking them back up one by one with the help of those who love me.  I am a strong, independent woman. 

My resolutions this year are pretty simple: become a better me (both physically and emotionally), stay focused, and become a better friend to those who have been to me (including you guys!).

I will be sure to come back next year with lots of pictures and stories to share with you.  You know how I get, haha.

I'm going to go do my makeup now, lil miss Cleo is telling me I need to stepping on my keyboard and licking my face.

Have a safe and wonderful New Year!!  I love you all!

Love!!!

Borrowed Christmas Sentiments

Christmas is coming,

My ass is getting fat.

The kids have all gone mental

And the dog just shat. 

I'm oddly rather horny —

Just a quickie shag'll do.

If you can't put out for Christmas

Then really, fuck you.  

Christmas is coming,
I don't mean to be a crank,
But get your shit together
And then I want a spank.

There's so much crap to do
And I hate to be so blunt.
But after all the chores are done
You need to lick my cunt.

Your folks are staying over —
A tiny piece of Hell.
I think I've more than earned
For you to ring my bell.

This time of year is when
I really start to twitch
'Cos Christmas is coming...
Ain't she a lucky bitch.

I borrowed this wonderful little poem from a good friend of mine, Lady Estrogen.  This is basically how I feel about the holiday season.  Just gimme a good roll in the hay or a quickie now and then, and I'm content with that present.

I'll update you guys tomorrow on the craziness that is my family Christmas's.  I even have videos this year!!

I hope you all got exactly what/who you wanted this year!!!

Love!!

FOOOOOD!!!!!

I have been making some AMAZING new concoctions in my kitchen here lately.  Well, mostly E&C's kitchen but whatever.  I'm trying out something completely new to me tonight.  I always play it safe with chicken dishes, but I wanted a challenge tonight.  And let's face it, I'm sick of chicken at the moment.  So I went to Homeland and bought some fresh salmon, a veggie mix (celery, onions, and mushrooms), and some imported cheeses.

You know my love of wines, so of course I love cheese!  That, and my dad and I used to try all the cheeses at the deli when I was a kid.

I digress.

So I sauteed the veggies in olive oil, basically until they were hot.  Squeezed about a quarter of a lemon onto the salmon, followed by coarse black pepper, greek seasoning, and this strange lil salad seasoning I found at Big Lots (Salad Jazz in tomato basil) (also put some on the veggies).

Preheat the over to 350 ish.  Depends on how fast you want to cook it.  I like slow cooking meat because it keeps it from getting crunchy on the edges.  Top the salmon with the veggies.  Pop in the oven.

The only thing I know about timing salmon in the oven is that it's done when it's dry looking (thanks for the useful tip dad... lol).

It is currently in the oven as I type.  My apartment smells delectable, just saying.

The cheeses I bought were a French hickory smoked rambol and what they called Drunken Goat Cheese (the rind is treated with a red wine).  I can't decide which I want tonight.  I may just try small pieces of both.

And the finished product:

It looks interesting but tastes oh so good!  The greek seasoning really brings out the salmon flavor. 

I know, I know, styrofoam plates are sooooo classy, but hey when you don't have anything else you do what you can.  The purple rind is the goat cheese, the orange is the rambol.  Both go well with the salmon, but I prefer the goat cheese.  The flavor isn't all that strong so it doesn't compete with the fish.  The rambol has a strong after taste, which while it goes well with the rest of the dish, isn't what I would usually pair with it.

I'm off to enjoy the rest of my meal!  Happy cooking and Merry Christmas!!

Love!!

Story of my life

You know you have an interesting life when you wind up in handcuffs on a friend's couch with a beer in your hand while watching Shawshank Redemption...

This is the story of my life.  Well... except it was my first time ever in handcuffs, haha!

The single life of a broken woman in Oklahoma

Remember when I said that I didn't know if I was going to like this whole being single bit?  Well it sucks sleeping alone so much.  It's a financial bitch living on my own.  Cooking for one is pointless most of the time, so I cook rarely anymore, unless it's for friends.

However, I think I could get used to this.  I like not having to worry about cleaning up after anyone but the dogs and myself.  I like only buying groceries once a month.  I love not having to share shower and closet space with anyone else.

But what do I love most?  Being able to go out whenever I want with whomever I want.  I have had so many new experiences lately.  My poor liver is probably going to commit homicide in the next few years, but my alcohol tolerance has never been higher.  I'm pretty sure I can drink any man under the table any day of the week.

I have been graduated from college for a year officially.  I thought by now I would be engaged, be putting money back for a house, be starting my career, and finally have a stable life.  Damn was I wrong!  I'm single, broke, still at my receptionist position, and am riding a roller coaster of financial, personal, and public difficulties.  I am still in love with Matt.  He has moved on and breaks my heart more each day.  I relive the things he did to me, I did to him, and we did to each other every other moment; how we hurt and tore each other apart.

Despite all of this, I'm happy most of the time.  I have come to realize who my true friends are.  I'm learning who I am.  I finding new ways of enjoying myself.  Even realized that I have a few fetishes that are shared by many.  I live to make myself happy.  I'm indulging in pleasures I have never experienced and some I have but was never able to fully appreciate.

I am starting a new life.  One where I have to completely rebuild myself; rebuild my self confidence, make myself stronger, and repair the gaping hole in my heart.  I wake up each day wondering what new things await me.  I make sure I have something to smile about as often as possible.  I'm keeping my options open and my head held high. 

I am broken.  I am lost.  I am empty.  I cry myself to sleep often.  I have allowed myself to be used an abused more than once.  I feel alone in a crowd of those who love me.  I drink away my pain.

I accept this all as my penitence.  I am happy to rebuild myself and learn more about myself, even if it hurts to do so.  I respect myself more than ever.  I am a strong, beautiful woman that has more to offer the world than the world is ready for, that any man would be blessed beyond belief to say is his, that will make a difference in the lives of many.

And this is the single life of a broken woman in Oklahoma.

Je t'amore mes amores!

Two Days

Two days... 

Two days until they cut into Meme's head...

Two days until they cut into Meme's head and roto-rooter her main artery...

I was finally given a date for Meme's surgery: Tuesday.  I'm more nervous than she is, I think.  I'm not entirely sure how to deal with the thought of this. 

A lil background...

Meme is my paternal grandmother, and the only grandparent I have left.  When I was younger, I spent the majority of my summers in Tulsa at her house.  We'd go swimming, shopping, camping, watch movies, cook, read, take walks, and just sit and talk.

She basically raised my brother and I for half of our childhood.  I don't know what I would do if I lost her.  Not now.

A little over two years ago, my mother's uncle died.  He treated my brother and I like we were grandchildren.  He was, in fact, the only grandfather we really knew on that side of the family.  It was very sudden.  One month we were told he had to have a mucus ball removed from his lung, and not much later we were visiting him in the hospital as he was dying of lung cancer.  It took until the following July for his daughters to start going through the house.  I ended up with many of his wife's elephants that she has spent her life collecting from around the world.  Granny Barb had died several years before that from the same type of lung cancer.

I say all this to explain why I wouldn't be able to handle a bad outcome.  I only just recently found out about her issues, so I still haven't quite gotten over the initial shock.  She means the world to me.  I'd lose it if I lost her.

Bubba and Meme

Prayers, thoughts, good juju, whatever you do and believe in would be much appreciated.

Love!!

My bad you guys...

It has been a really difficult few months for me.  First, I started living on my own for the first time ever.  Taking care of myself and two pups is challenging but I like it.  My neighbors are for the most part all really nice.  I just wish some of them wouldn't party until 6 in the morning on random nights of the week.  The pups like it.

Unfortunately now I have to deal with the fact that my Meme is going to have brain surgery soon.  If I wasn't alone so much, it wouldn't really be that difficult, but I've never had to deal with big things like that on my own.  Apparently my parents have known that she hasn't been doing well for awhile.  The main artery in her brain is blocked and causing her to have blackouts.  I've been told the surgery is fairly routine, at least when it comes to brain surgery.  I'm still in a little bit of shock.  Sadly, I've been somewhat drinking my worries away lately.  I'm in good company so I haven't been going completely crazy, but I know it's not how I should be dealing. 

I have a few stories for you guys, but I thought I would just give you this quick update before I leave town to go see my Meme.  I think I may end up having to create an anonymous blog for those stories though.  If I do, I'll email the link to those that are interested.

After this weekend, I'm going to start that feature I mentioned months ago: random things around the metro area.  Not sure what I'm going to call it yet, but I have saved up enough pictures that it should last awhile.

Hope everyone is having a happy fall.

Love!!

Earthquake

Oklahoma is known to have some crazy ass weather.  Tornadoes in the spring, droughts and extreme heat in the summer, pre-winter blizzards, ice storms in January, crazy blizzards after winter... Even a hurricane-like hail storm a few months ago.

Now?  We have decent sized earthquakes.  5.6 magnitude to be exact; the strongest in the state's history according to the Oklahoma Facebook page.  We have apparently had 9 so far today.

I have officially now survived 2 earthquakes (at least 2 that I have felt) and countless tornadoes/ice storms/floods.

Change is in the air

Holy shit I have missed you guys!  Things have definitely been crazy in my little corner of Oklahoma!!  So many changes and new experiences lately that have kept me almost completely away from my computer.

As you may remember, I was moving into an apartment on my own last time I updated.  Well, I love my little apartment!  It's not completely mine yet, Matt is staying with me until he can find a place.  He and Roxi want/need a backyard.  Yep, he's taking Roxi.  She's basically his dog so I'm okay with it.  I love my baby girl to death, but she's such a daddy's girl it's not funny.  Tank is staying with me.  He loves his mommy more than anything, other than tearing into things of course!

Unfortunately, Matt and I are no longer a couple.  Things have been rough between us lately.  The reasons are a story for another time.  We are still very close and I still love him very much.  We are currently trying to work things out.  We both have some individual things that we need to work on before we can work on fixing things between us.  I will always love him, no matter what happens.  I do hope we can work things out, but only time will tell.

On a lighter note, Tank and Roxi have a new little sister!  And by little, I mean miniature, as in miniature schnauzer..  That's right, I got ANOTHER dog, haha.  Tank will need a playmate when Roxi leaves, and one of my good friends had a papered puppy that she could no longer take care of.  Her name is Cleopatra, Cleo for short.  She answers to Little Bit and Spaz.  She's the most energetic dog I have ever seen.  I swear she never stops!  She thinks she's big shit and runs the household.  Roxi will occasionally put her in her place, but mostly ignores her.  Tank loves having someone who loves to play and he can push over.  Her attitude and her black coat is how she got her name.  She is very independent but loves to be in my lap so that she is taller than the other two.  I have to say my favorite thing about her is what her bark sounds like when she wants my attention.  She sounds human!  Kinda like on Fievel Goes West when they are teaching the cat to bark.   It's adorable!  She is a little ankle biter though, which is going to be hard to break her of.

Meet Miss Cleo, my newest fur baby.

Doesn't she look stubborn and spoiled?  That's cause she is!  She's not too happy because she had to have a bath tonight.  Her legs are shaved at the moment, making her look like a poodle, because she had a scare the other night and had to go to the vet.

In other news, I am being trained as a phlebotomist at work now.  It's really exciting!  I've been told my attitude has greatly improved since I started the training, which is nice, but I didn't know until recently that I was being perceived as having a bad attitude.  I love my job and always have.

Halloween is closing in on us.  One of my favorite days of the year.  Not sure what I'm doin other than dressing up, we'll figure out the little details later.  I'm going to be Jessica from the season finale of True Blood.  If you haven't seen it, think sexy little red riding hood with fangs.  I'm really excited.  I'm going to dye my hair black with a red tint.  It should be really awesome.  What are your plans?

I have many stories to tell from the last month or so, but those can wait.  What have you been up to?  Anything new around the 'sphere?

I'm so happy to be back!!

Love!!

I am a model????

Remember when I said that I was going to do a photoshoot?  I don't remember how long ago I told you guys about that, so I'm not going to link back to a post.  That takes time and well... I don't have that.  I'm packing up my house.  That's right, we're moving.  Have to be out in 24 hours.  I'll tell ya'll more about that later.  Tonight is just a quick post with my pictures.  Let me know what ya think!!!

This one is by far my favorite!

The boobs look great here!

I also love this, almost a headshot.

The lovely Wendy from After Dark Studios is who shot these wonderful pictures.  If you live in Oklahoma and want to take any sort of pictures--senior, engagements, wedding, modelling--you should definitely check her out!

By the way, you should check out my feature over at Legos in My Pocket.  Jaimie is a doll!!  If you haven't checked her out yet, you're definitely missing out.  And go back on each Sunday this month to answer my MFB Feature Question of the Week!

Okay lovelies, I'm off to continue packing.  I have a pretty pretty to show you later.  Get excited, I am!

Have a great Labor Day weekend!!

Love!

This Sooner Season is for them

As the 2011 Sooner season gets ready to kick off this weekend, I can't help but think of the men we lost this past year.

I live and breathe crimson and cream, the loss of these young men ripped at my very being.

This season is for you boys.  Every game I cheer on, every brat I eat, every beer, every party, every tear, all of it I do for you.

R.I.P. and Boomer Sooner

Movies my boyfriend doesn't want you to know he likes

We all have our guilty pleasures.  Some collect toys, others watch anime.  If you're like me it's sushi, ninety's television, and French culture/decor.  Even guys have them.  I don't know about the men in your life, but Matt has a tendency to love cute movies.  Yep, manly Matt loves cute movies.  I thought I would share with you a few of his favorites that I also love.

Yep, the boy's favorite chick flick is 10 Things I Hate About You, by far!  He also likes Fools' Gold.  I love that I can watch these with him!!

So this one, I'm not exactly supposed to tell you he thought was adorable but I'm going to anyway.  He loved this one!

This movie had us both rolling with laughter.  When I found it on my Netflix streaming, he insisted we watch it.

This one is my favorite.  We watched this on my little bitty tv in my bedroom at the 'rents house.  He had recently had his back surgery and was high on his pain meds.  The funniest thing I have ever heard happened that night.  My little brother walked by and made some crack about Matt watching this and Matt replied with "It's cuuuute!"  Yep, he was gone haha!

I think if Matt read this, I would be in big trouble.  But that's what makes this post so much fun!  What is your guy's guilty pleasure?

Something Broke

I felt it snap
it was like guitar string
pulled
3 octaves too tight.

You plucked and tuned
until I wore
too thin.

There should be
raw ends and
unspun lines
but I don't feel it.

It's bleak
there's nothing
I'm blank.

Something broke
and now
it's gone.

Uncertain Truths

These past few weeks have been very trying times for me.  Hopefully I will soon be able to share some of this with you my friends, but I haven't seen the end of it all and don't want to make much out things that could be insignificant.

I have, however, come to some realizations about myself that I felt have changed me somewhat.  If you don't mind, I want to share some of these things with you.  You all have come to know me so well, some even better than I know myself, and have shared some of your innermost secrets and feelings with me, so I feel I owe it to you to do the same.

My beliefs have become very convoluted and mixed.  I believe in the power of the earth.  I believe we are not alone but what else there could be eludes me.  I believe that we must respect our place here on earth and respect the earth itself.  At times, I feel so insignificant that I cannot seem to even imagine where I fit in in this complex and enormous universe.

My past has also come back to haunt me quite a bit lately.  Things that I thought I had blocked out or forgot have come rushing back.  I've realized how messed up my mind really is at times because of these things.  I am damaged.  I have issues.  Yes, we all are and we all do, but I can't seem to come to terms with my past.  Every time I think I've got it under control, I lose it.  I don't think anyone really knows everything I've been through.  It scares me to share with anyone.  I'm afraid people won't respect me or will blame me for these things. 

Part of me thinks I will never find someone who can accept me with all my baggage.  Who won't judge or hold things against me when I do or say odd things.  Like, there are days I need to be completely alone.  No human interaction, no pups, nothing.  For some reason that offends people.  Yes, these tend to be the days I lock myself away and just cry.  There really isn't a reason, it just happens.  Or what I like to call "my moods."  I get severely depressed at times, for unknown reasons.  I can't explain what's wrong because I don't know.

I'm ready to settle down but at the same time, I'm afraid to lose my independence.  I don't want to have to answer to anyone.  I hate being questioned about what I'm doing or who I'm talking to or why I'm doing what I'm doing.  I need someone who can keep up with me but stand back and let me be me at the same time.

I miss the country.  Give me trees and dirt and (eek) bugs over all this concrete any day.  I miss being able to clearly see the stars and walk in the grass barefooted.  I need room to roam and escape.  I'm a country girl at heart, as much as I love the city.  I am high maintenance for a country girl, I like my clothes, shoes, jewelry, and electronics.  But I can have all this without living in the middle of town.  Without having to worry about waking my neighbors when I decide I want to have 50 people over to drink and have a good time.

I have to have a nightlife or I go crazy.  I'm talkin, bar one night, club the next, and naked pool beer pong the next!  Here lately, my free time has been spent drinking and partying.  Yes, I know I'm getting too old to do this all the time, but I don't care.  I crave the atmosphere.  I'm not one to sit at home every night watching television or the like.  I can't sit still.  I'd rather sleep all day and be up all night.

Maybe I've always known these things about myself.  Maybe I just need to get them out there and accept it all.  I feel like there is more to life than what I have been dealt and I want it all.  I want my own family, my nightlife, my country-in-stilettos dream.  I want to be accepted for the screwed up person I am and not be questioned because of my beliefs or past experiences.

So there is what has been eating at me.  It feels good to get some of that out there.  I have some catching up to do on all of your blogs and I promise to get on that pronto.  As soon as I get my a/c fixed.  AGAIN.  This computer kills me when it's hot in my house.

Hope y'all are having wonderful weekends.  Give the kiddos hugs for me when they head back to school.

G'night lovelies, and thank you for being here for me.  It is appreciated more than you will ever know.

Love!!

Tank's Newest Experiment

Ever had an animal that likes to stare death straight in the eye and laugh?  Yeah I have one of those.  You've all met Tank.  If not, don't worry, this post will tell you almost everything you need to know about this sweet, headstrong, dumb puppy of mine.

So I'm sitting on my lunch at work, when I see a text from Matt.  It said something about Tank getting a hold of my camera case (camera is in my purse that is now out of his reach at night) and Matt's deodorant.  It also had a cryptic message about him possibly being really chill for a few days.  Knowing that there were allergy pills on the coffee table and that I had found an old bottle of muscle relaxers the day before and wasn't sure where I had left them that night.

Sure enough, the little shit had gotten a hold of the muscle relaxers.  Having no car (it's in desperate need of fixing right now), I had to sit at work and act like I wasn't having a panic attack.  Not only were those pills out of date, they were strong as hell.  I should have thrown them away, but with no doctor and a bad back I thought I would see if they would help even a lil.

Finally after 4 hours of going absolutely crazy, I got the chance to go call my vet.  The stupid ditzy girl they had recently hired answered the phone.  I gave her the name of the pills and asked what I should do.  She had no idea what they were.  Seriously?  For my back, they don't give you no name shit.  At least when I had a doctor she didn't.  After talking to her like a child, she told me to bring him in immediately.

How the hell was I supposed to do that?  Ask a coworker if I could borrow her car of course.  I rushed home to find a puppy who's pupils were so big I couldn't see the color in them and eyes more bloodshot than normal for this particular puppy.  He was acting fine, but Tank is my child.  I took him in.  And was told that they couldn't do anything for him and I'd have to take him to the AER that almost killed Roxi.

Uh, no.

I got my way.  The doctor gave him charcoal to absorb any of the pills that his stomach hadn't yet absorbed.

Little Man is doing fine now.  I was soooo worried though!!!  You have no idea.  He's my child.  I love that little shit.

Well I'm off to finish my beer and have a lil more fun tonight!

Love!!

On Fire!!!

What?  Yeah, that's right.  I'm on fire.  Physically (mostly from the crazy Oklahoma weather, but partly from working out).  Emotionally (not in the good way, things kinda suck but that's life).  And my blog apparently!!  In my unintended leave of absence from my lil corner of the blogosphere, my lovely bloggie bestie Sarcasm Goddess gave me an award.  She's pretty amazing and absolutely hilarious, you should check her out!  She's the one who really got me out of my shell on here and basically killed my habit of blushing when blogging about vaginas and the whatnot that goes along with them.  She gave me this award because I "pierce my body without fear" and because I'm almost as awesome as she is.

If you haven't looked through my blog, then you wouldn't know that I have 11 body piercings.  That's right, 11.  I plan to add to that number, but I'm not sure what I want next.  I'll have to do a future post with a poll in it possibly.

Anyway, things haven't really changed much around here.  The dogs are still being nutty.  Although, Tank did decide to go on a dog's version of a panty raid this morning when we opened the backdoor for them.  He went through BOTH of my purses that were out on the end table and decided that their contents needed to decorate the backyard.  My checkbook, ID, debit card, cash, lotion, camera, GPS, and random other things were strewn about, shredded if possible.  NOT how I wanted to wake up today...

After cleaning up the yard as best I could, still looking for my house key... I called my bank to report my card "lost or stolen".  Yes, I'm lazy and instead of going in I just called that number.  Here's how the beginning of that conversation went:

Lady: blahblahblah bank how may I help you?

Me: Um... I need to report my debit card... uh... eaten by my dog...

Lady: Seriously? *giggles*  That sounds kinda like the "dog ate my homework" excuse.

Me: No really, he chewed it up... It isn't usable now....

Lady: Oh.  Well I can.... blahblahblah

Do they really think I would make up something THAT ridiculous?!?!?!  Okay, yeah they can see all the weird ass places I use my card, but still.  Doesn't mean they know me!!

So dumbass I am, instead of seeing if I can still use my card, I get it cancelled and now have little to no access to my paycheck I got 24 hours ago... I wrote a check for a damn T-shirt tonight!!  It was worth it though, it was a Fangtasia T-shirt from True Blood (vamp obsession, remember?).  Oh and I got another one for half off that has female super heroes and says "We Run This Town."  Love it!  I also replaced the clutch Tank destroyed above.  It was red and black leopard print and is absolutely perfect to use for going out!

Yeah I think that's about the only real story I have from my LoA.  I'll have more things later as they unfold, but I don't want to drag on and on, so on to the award section!!!

So the rules for this are: thank who gave it to me, 7 factos, and 10 recipients.  I think we can do this.  As I said in the beginning, the wonderful and amazing Sarcasm Goddess gave me this prestigious award.  She is the embodiment of awesome-ness.

1. This award makes me super happy because I am a pyro.  I love the flames on the picture.  However, when I saw a local apartment complex on fire today I almost vomited.  I know people who lived/still live there.  It was awful.  Two buildings completely destroyed... Cars on fire... One of my coworkers/friends is probably staying with me for awhile because of this.
2. I have lost 10 more pounds since I started working out!  I'm down to 176 which is amazing!!  I can fit some of my old clothes.  Still a ways to go, but I'm happy with the progress.
3. I believe in ghosts.  I've seen and felt ghosts.  I don't care how crazy that makes me sound, I know what I've experienced.
4. My great great some-or-other great uncle was the guy who pulled Belle Starr (Oklahoma outlaw) out of the river when she was shot off her horse.  My great great some-or-other great grandmother was with her when she died.
5. My phone is dumb.  It has decided that it will only charge in the warehouse at work or sometimes when plugged up to my computer unless I want to hold it up in the air for hours.  I really need to call the warranty people about it... I miss my iPhone4...
6. I've come to realize that some of the people I've been really close to lately are starting to offend me.  They make snide remarks or blow off how I feel about things.  I'm not one to be walked all over or ignored.  Maybe they should read this... I've started avoiding them when I can, they don't even realize it.
7. My job has really been the bright part of my days lately.  I love my customers; the crazy old men, flirty guys, loving women, grandmothers, cooks, nurses, all of them!  Most people would say it must suck that work is the bright part of my day, but since all I seem to do now is work (meh, it brings in the moneys... that I can't really get to right now...) it's good that it's a bright part.

And for my On Fire Blogs!

• Chasing Joy
• Crazy With a Side of Awesome Sauce
• Dixie Creek Farm
• Free Bird Train
• I Fight for the Phoque
• In Doctorly Fashion
• It's the {little} Things...
• Little Bits of Missy Me
• My P90X Journey
• Ramblings of a Fabulous Brunette

If I have to explain my reasoning for choosing these wonderful women, well, you don't know good blogging!  Haha, just kidding, but still they are all absolutely amazing!!

Off to bed to begin this long ass week of work, but first finishing Ghost Adventures with Zak Bagan... yumm...

Love!!

Buns of Steel--the Sassy edition!!!

That's right, I'm gonna work my ass off in the next few weeks!  Okay, not literally because I like my ghetto ass but it does need some toning and tightening.  I've gotten very sick of how out of shape I have been the last few years.  When you go from 130lbs at your best to 217lbs at your worst, you may have a problem...  I'm no longer that big but dieting and light exercise alone can only go so far.  I have the drive now to see something through til the very end.  If I hurt myself or get sick again, like I did the last time I tried the whole home workout thing, I'll slow down.  But no stopping this time.  I'm determined to look and feel my best! 

This is me in one of my high school plays.  This isn't even me at my smallest but it definitely illustrates what I'm getting at.

This is me at close to my heaviest.  I tried to avoid cameras at this point so I don't have many of me like this.  Oh the things I will do for my lovely Lil!

This is me a few months ago.  Much better than before, but not good enough for me.  As long as the boobs don't disappear I'll be happy lol!

So now that you know how much I have changed in weight over the years, let me tell you where I'm going to get my workouts.

Like I said above, I have tried this before (back when my knee injury was somewhat fresh and my asthma was going crazy.  My back was also near its worst at this point).  Matt and I tried p90x about a year or so ago and both failed.  I did, however, find my love for the Ab Ripper X workout.  I also love the stretch and I bet I'll love the Yoga X. 

I plan on incorporating those with some of the Insanity workouts and Jillian Michaels' workouts.  I need to watch those and figure out what I like before I decide what I'll keep and what I'll just do at random for muscle confusion.  I'm also going to get a membership at a local gym so I can work with stabilized weights and timed cardio.  It's open 24 hours a day so I can go after work without worrying about getting kicked out.  It also has free tanning so I can get rid of this pasty whiteness.  It's secure and card access only even during staffed hours and guests are not allowed.  I'm pretty sure I've found the place for me!  And it's around $30/month which is ridiculous in this day and age for unlimited gym/tanning!!

So tomorrow I will weigh myself and try to remember to do my measurements so we can get a starting point, and to make realistic goals.  50lbs is my start though.

Well I'm off to bed lovelies.  I have to work in 6 hours.  Sweet dreams!!

Love!!