Monday, July 18, 2011

Embarrassed? Me? NEVER!!!

In celebration of my new identity in the blogosphere, I'm linking up with the always funny (and one of my bloggie bff's) Sarcasm Goddess for her very first link up!  She has requested a recount of my most embarrassing moment. 

If you know me, you know my life should be FULL of embarrassing moments!

How about the time I drank waaaay too much at a fraternity Founder's Day after party, had to be carried up the stairs, and was dropped??  Nope.

How about the Wal-Mart trip I had recently where I grabbed two boxes of the same cereal (thinking I was getting two different ones) and coconut milk (thinking it was almond milk) and Matt decided it was hilarious and he should tell EVERYONE?  Not yet.

Or when Momma's BFF got a boob job and decided that I needed to grab her boobs in the middle of the local (where the rent's live) bowling alley??  At the time, yes.  Now, no.

What about when I flashed everyone at my senior prom?  I'm entirely sure anyone actually saw that but even if they did I don't really care.  I like my boobs so :P

I have quite the awkward life at times.  However, the most embarrassing moment to me is not something that happened just once.  It happens at least once a week...

When I sneeze.  I make this weird noise when I sneeze.  It sounds like a cross between a sneeze, a cough, a squeak, a squeaky dog, and a fake sneeze.  There is always someone who looks at me and asks "What the Fuck/hell was that?????"  Then everyone who has been around for awhile starts laughing hysterically.  I turn a hideous shade of violet/red and say in a tiny voice "a sneeze..." followed by "shut up!!" to the peanut gallery.

I realize this wouldn't be embarrassing to most, but it happens so often that it embarrasses the hell out of me.  Plus as often as I do stupid shit and my family/friends do stupid shit, that sort of thing only bothers me for a short time if at all.  These damn sneezes follow me everywhere!!!  Even if I go out someone HAS to say something.  Seriously?!?!?!

I really just want to throw something at these people or run and hide... I absolutely hate it.  I know this makes me sound shallow or vain or whatever (and I am somewhat) but I can't help it.

And there you have it lovelies, my most embarrassing moment(s).  Now go link up yours and read the other embarrassing stories!!



You were dropped?!! You need better friends. I would NEVER let that happen to you. I'm so glad you linked up! I was really curious to see if your moment would include naked pool beer pong.

A re-occurring embarrassing moment - that sucks!

Lover you!

Christine Siracusa said...

That is a bummer. Does it sound weird because you're trying to hold it in? Maybe you should let it rip! Give your friends the shock of their lives! Maybe that'd shut them up. And then you could sneeze however you want.

Laura said...

Wait, I should be embarrassed by bodily functions? Shit.

Adrienne said...

Hey there! Came over from FTLOB to give you a little critique! :)

Only a couple of things I would change myself:
1. your width, it should fit within the template that you are using...
2. Your header is kind of on the large side (tallness-wise) but that is totally up to you, and not a big deal... Also, it's really hard to read, I have learned that with headers, usually, less is more (aka Simple, legible).
3. That thing that pops up over your header to share, it scared the crap out of me! lol.


Read your post. Hm. I hate sneezing in public, I am pretty sure I sound like my fucking grandpa when I sneeze... lol. But, I also hate it when people "bless me"... So I quickly say "Excuse me" and people tend not to say anything... Maybe try that one?

Miss Sassy Pants said...

I usually embrace my awkward encounters with open arms. Then, I blog about it.

After living in a foreign country and not speaking the language, it takes a lot to truly embarrass me.

Although the one thing that does embarrasses me constantly is my phone anxiety. I am a journalist and every time I have a phone interview I have to prepare myself and rehearse the convo in my head, and no matter what it goes terribly.

Suniverse said...

I need to hear that sneeze. Because I can't imagine that that kind of noise exists in the universe.

PS Nice job flashing your prom! It's always good to leave them wanting more.

Sandra said...

Ok, you mentioned boobs a few times in this post. As someone who happens to be boobie-challenged (ie. I gots none!) I wanted to hear more about the lady who had the implants.