Sunday, March 13, 2011

Not sure where I'm gonna go with this

It has been way too long since I lasted posted.  I feel like I completely failed on the 30 Days of Truth Challenge.  Right now, life is way too complicated and busy for me to commit to an every day challenge.  I think I'll pick up where I left off shortly, but my posts will be an "as they come" format not necessarily every day.

Our dog Roxi was deathly ill a few weeks ago.  Tank dug up an old phone line and she chewed on the end of it.  We found out the hard (and expensive) way that this can lead to copper poisoning.  We woke up to what looked like a murder scene in our kitchen.  I've never seen so much blood, other than in the movies.  Poor baby girl was urinating blood, which was her body's way of trying to flush the toxin out.

We rushed her to the vet, where she stayed overnight.  Copper poisoning is very rare and hard to prove unless the animal swallows a penny (specifically one dated 1983 and earlier) and it can be seen on an x-ray.  Apparently one tiny flake can cause what we experienced.  With her at the vet, I had the task of taking care of both Matt and Tank.  Both were severely depressed.  Matt made himself sick with worry and barely slept.  Tank wouldn't eat without his big sister at home.  My poor bubbas (his nickname) was skin and bone by the time we brought Roxi home.  I fear he would have starved himself if she hadn't have made it.

Matt dug up 20 foot of phone line from the backyard.

Both dogs are doing very well now.  Tank has been to the dog park twice now, he's a big hit out there.  When our "roommate" finally moved out and the backdoor has been open more often, he picked up on his house training very quickly.  It's amazing how intelligent dogs are when given the chance to show you.  But you know, I don't know anything about my own dogs.  It's not like I live with them and work with them everyday or anything.  Oh the ignorance of some people amazes me.

This is spring break for those still in classes.  I took off the whole week to spend time with Matt, and for a much needed reprieve.  Tomorrow one of my best friends is having heart surgery.  I'm not sure how I'm reacting to the idea of it.  I've lost so many people in my life.  Just the thought of losing him kills me.

It's times like this that the wall from my past goes up and I shut every one out to keep from getting hurt.  I have no where to go to think in Norman.  I miss my dock on the bayou, my days in the trees on the bank.  I miss the NSU campus where I could find a secluded place and just sit.  I miss the Honors' Lounge.  Sitting on the couches, watching my peers socialize and do their homework.  Don't get me wrong, I love Norman.  But I haven't found my quiet place yet.  If I could I would drive to Grandpa Del's and sit in the backyard in the trees near his pond.  I can't do that anymore though.  Not only have the trees been cut, but it's not the same without him there.  The house is cold, dark and empty.  The ghosts that are my childhood memories haunt me there.

Matt has said that we will have a house of memories like that one day.  Thinking about how I feel about the house now, part of me doesn't know if I want it.  I don't want to leave those I love a house of ghosts.

Sorry about the sudden turn of mood.  I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, which isn't always a good thing.

However, I have been thinking about picking up my writing again.  Fiction and poetry, not just blogging.  I kinda want to publish some of it on here, but I don't know if anyone would be interested in reading my ramblings.  I don't know... It's like putting part of my soul on display for the world to see and pick apart.  I would appreciate some feedback on the idea.  I think I may put up some of my old stuff just to gauge the response.  Maybe I'll create a blog just for my writings so that I still have this one for my more personal postings.

I think I have written enough for now.  I'll probably be on here quite a bit tomorrow while I sit at the hospital.


1 comment:

-Mallori said...

I always like to read the writings of sisters, whether it be personal blogging or actual writing...