That's right. I'm going to teach you how to keep repairmen from wanting to return to your place. Basically, how to meet new people without putting yourself out there.
Step 1: Rent an apartment where one has to walk past your bedroom window to get from the parking lot to your front door.
Step 2: Leave bedroom window cracked open all the time. This way you can hear what your neighbors are arguing about outside and know when people arrive.
Step 3: Call in a work order for your bathtub to your landlord or rental agency.
Step 4: Have loud early afternoon sex, since usually repairmen show up at your place at 8am (fuckers, don't they know people like to sleep?!?!?!).
Step 5: When someone knocks on your front door interrupting your afternoon delight, answer in only a towel (have look on your face like actually I want to finish what I know you heard me doing).
Step 6: Tell repairman that yes you were just about to shower, so yes they are inconveniencing you.
Step 7: Allow repairman in anyway.
Step 8: When repairman leaves to get part/key/whatever they forgot, suddenly remember you left your vibrator in plain sight in the shower.
Step 9: Leave it and shower.
Step 10: When repairman returns, answer door in same towel with makeup on.
Step 11: Try to carry on a normal conversation when they try to leave after fixing your problem, knowing they know you showered and still left said vibrator in the shower.
Honestly, I felt kinda bad for the guy. When he left the first time, I sat down on the bed and realized I had left it in the shower all I could do was laugh hysterically. I figured taking it out after I know he saw it (it's kinda hard to miss that color in a white shower) would make me look ashamed, when obviously if I'm posting this on here where people I know in real life read this I'm not.
Anyone have stories like this?? Link up and share!! I know I'm not alone in crazy, embarrassing stories.
