It has been awhile since I posted much in the way of personal stories on here, lately my posts have been more political. While that is personal to me, it probably bores most of you. I can understand that. My friends get tired of hearing it too. It's just how I am.
I hope to get back to more personal things now. Of course I will have my rants, that's just me.
This year is a new start for me. I'm finally coming to terms with some of the things the ex did to me and have realized that it has drastically affected me. I finally told a doctor that I have had panic attacks since my sexual assault (left out the physical assault and infidelity parts). Granted, it was just my GCP, but he thinks I may have PTSD. With the help of the boyfriend, I have finally made the decision to seek help in sorting it all out and fixing myself. I know I can't do it alone anymore. That made it worse. I intend to start writing out my thoughts and feelings while I go through this on here, partially as a catharsis, partially because I know I am not the only person who has been through something like this. If I can help someone else, even if just by showing them they aren't the only one who's been wronged this way, it will be worth it.
I also want to get healthier this year. I was doing so well with my weight loss last year; I got down to 160! Then I started gaining again. I'm back to around 200, which disgusts me. I know I can do better. Honestly, it's not the number that bothers me, but the inches and that I'm completely out of shape. So I'm going to keep an update going for myself on here. The fact that this is public may make me more accountable.
I have several crafty projects started that I really want to finish. My aunt is going to help me with my crochet technique, so hopefully I can become good enough to start selling a few things here and there. I plan to sell some of my photos that I've had hidden away for awhile, so look for that! Honestly, I have a few really good ones. I'd love to share them with fellow art lovers.
Finally, I am moving out of Norman in the middle of the year. I want to make a new start with people I know I can count on. Oddly enough, the boyfriend and I had both made plans to move to the same city before meeting each other. Fate works in mysterious ways, huh? It's a new adventure! He's going to opening a new store in the chain he works for. I hope to start the trek to getting my Masters' in Forensic Psychology. It should all make for some interesting stories to share. Considering I'm moving in with Bee, one of my best friends from high school, I should have quite a few hilarious things to let you in on.
All in all, I want to get this page going again and possibly change it up here and there. I want to bring back Obscure Mondays (I even have a few movies already lined up for it!), WTF or Wine Wednesdays, and possibly Thankful Thursdays. One step at a time though.
I have missed you my bloggie friends. I have missed your support. I have missed out on so much in your lives. I hope to change that.
For now, it's off to bed. Have to get up early and make that money.
Love!!
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Thursday, July 5, 2012
How to Permanently Scar/Mortify a Repairman
That's right. I'm going to teach you how to keep repairmen from wanting to return to your place. Basically, how to meet new people without putting yourself out there.
Step 1: Rent an apartment where one has to walk past your bedroom window to get from the parking lot to your front door.
Step 2: Leave bedroom window cracked open all the time. This way you can hear what your neighbors are arguing about outside and know when people arrive.
Step 3: Call in a work order for your bathtub to your landlord or rental agency.
Step 4: Have loud early afternoon sex, since usually repairmen show up at your place at 8am (fuckers, don't they know people like to sleep?!?!?!).
Step 5: When someone knocks on your front door interrupting your afternoon delight, answer in only a towel (have look on your face like actually I want to finish what I know you heard me doing).
Step 6: Tell repairman that yes you were just about to shower, so yes they are inconveniencing you.
Step 7: Allow repairman in anyway.
Step 8: When repairman leaves to get part/key/whatever they forgot, suddenly remember you left your vibrator in plain sight in the shower.
Step 9: Leave it and shower.
Step 10: When repairman returns, answer door in same towel with makeup on.
Step 11: Try to carry on a normal conversation when they try to leave after fixing your problem, knowing they know you showered and still left said vibrator in the shower.
Honestly, I felt kinda bad for the guy. When he left the first time, I sat down on the bed and realized I had left it in the shower all I could do was laugh hysterically. I figured taking it out after I know he saw it (it's kinda hard to miss that color in a white shower) would make me look ashamed, when obviously if I'm posting this on here where people I know in real life read this I'm not.
Anyone have stories like this?? Link up and share!! I know I'm not alone in crazy, embarrassing stories.
Step 1: Rent an apartment where one has to walk past your bedroom window to get from the parking lot to your front door.
Step 2: Leave bedroom window cracked open all the time. This way you can hear what your neighbors are arguing about outside and know when people arrive.
Step 3: Call in a work order for your bathtub to your landlord or rental agency.
Step 4: Have loud early afternoon sex, since usually repairmen show up at your place at 8am (fuckers, don't they know people like to sleep?!?!?!).
Step 5: When someone knocks on your front door interrupting your afternoon delight, answer in only a towel (have look on your face like actually I want to finish what I know you heard me doing).
Step 6: Tell repairman that yes you were just about to shower, so yes they are inconveniencing you.
Step 7: Allow repairman in anyway.
Step 8: When repairman leaves to get part/key/whatever they forgot, suddenly remember you left your vibrator in plain sight in the shower.
Step 9: Leave it and shower.
Step 10: When repairman returns, answer door in same towel with makeup on.
Step 11: Try to carry on a normal conversation when they try to leave after fixing your problem, knowing they know you showered and still left said vibrator in the shower.
Honestly, I felt kinda bad for the guy. When he left the first time, I sat down on the bed and realized I had left it in the shower all I could do was laugh hysterically. I figured taking it out after I know he saw it (it's kinda hard to miss that color in a white shower) would make me look ashamed, when obviously if I'm posting this on here where people I know in real life read this I'm not.
Anyone have stories like this?? Link up and share!! I know I'm not alone in crazy, embarrassing stories.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Vacay!
How was everyone's Memorial Day weekend? Any great adventures?
I had my first vacation in several years, it was great. The boyfriend and I went to the Illinois River with his friends to camp and float. I float this river every year, but I don't think I have ever camped out there. Unless you count spending a night or two in some of the cabins, but those have air conditioning and bathrooms so I really don't.
Honestly, I didn't really want to go. We had had a few disagreements over the whole idea of the trip. As crazy as I can be, I don't really feel comfortable around large groups of people I don't know if they're drinking much. Let's face it, it's the river. There will be copious amounts of alcohol consumed. Also, I can be very easily irritated when I'm drinking. I didn't want to get mad at people I didn't know for some stupid reason or get them mad at me.
I am SO glad I went, however. I've never met a better group of people in my life. And I've never had more adventures in four days than I did this last weekend.
We were supposed to have a campsite with electricity so we would have lights for beer pong and be able to plug in our speakers. When we arrived, however, we had been given one without access to electric. We talked the office into letting us move to a site where we could bum some off another site. Then we figured out the tent Dad let us borrow was missing all the poles, and my whole family was in Houston so we couldn't just drive the 30 minutes back to their place to get another one. Thankfully, someone had brought an extra tent. Other than that, the first night was pretty uneventful. My friends B and Joe came out to drink with us for awhile. I got pretty drunk and ended up opening up quicker than normal. The boyfriend and I ended up having to sleep on the ground the first night because we forgot to blow up the air mattress.
We floated the river Saturday. We were supposed to go the whole 12 miles, however, when you run out of food, beer, cigarettes, and water for an entire group of 15-20 drunk people you tend to abandon that mission. I ended the trip with a few sets of beads (imagine that!), some scrapes and bruises from being pushed out of the rafts a few times, and a major sunburn. It didn't help that we all ended up drunk before we even got on the bus to get to the river. Nothing like ended up hungover in the cruel Oklahoma sun. It took us 7 hours to go 6 miles, which is ridiculous. We were all playing musical rafts, shooting strangers with water guns, bribing girls to show their boobs for beads. It was a lot of fun.
That night, we had a transvestite show up at our camp. You guys know me and know I have no problem with anyone's sexuality, but this "girl" had issues. One of the guys brought her over, I assume with the intent to sleep with her, and realized when she stepped under our spotlight that she had at one point in her life been a man. If the group wasn't made up of mostly redneck-ish people, I'm sure it would have been fine, but we couldn't help but snicker. She didn't help matters much by being trashed and passing out in the middle of our campsite.
The next day we headed back out to the river. Very few of us drank that morning. Boyfriend and I ended up on a raft with another couple the entire trip, which was actually quite fun. We freaked out when we saw giant catfish in the river and were bummed when we realized the fishing gear was back at camp. So we rigged up a redneck fishing pole using the straps from the coozies you hang around your neck and a keyring from one of the dry boxes. We used pieces of sandwiches for bait. Obviously we didn't catch anything, but we had a lot of fun and got some great laughs from other people. The boys decided jumping at the fish from the raft was a much better way to go. It was quite comical. Again, we bailed at the 6 mile point. This time we had enough of everything, we were just way too exhausted from the day before to continue. And the wind was blowing so hard the wrong direction it would push you upstream at times.
Sunday night was pretty eventful. We got back to camp as the cops were pulling into the area. Apparently some guy was beat up and put in his raft to continue downstream. It was supposedly a gang fight (considering how close it is to Muskogee it's possible), however, that was never confirmed. We were visited by some very interesting gentlemen later. They were in kilts and tin foil hats. They asked us to sign their noodle. Even later, B and I were drunkenly two-stepping and from nowhere we here "I'll teach you to play country music!" One of the guys had been in his tent with a girl we began to refer to as Fluffy White Chick from the next site over, and he came out butt ass naked. The few of us that were still awake ended up on the other side of the fire from him as he attempted to piss in the fire. Then he approached us asking "Who wants a hug?" Fuckers pushed the smallest person out front... We ended the night "singing" metal and discussing what groups we like and hate.
Monday we all headed out. Boyfriend and I spent the night at my parents' house because we were exhausted and didn't want to fight post holiday traffic. It was definitely the best weekend I've had in a long time!
Can't wait for our next adventure!!
Love!!
I had my first vacation in several years, it was great. The boyfriend and I went to the Illinois River with his friends to camp and float. I float this river every year, but I don't think I have ever camped out there. Unless you count spending a night or two in some of the cabins, but those have air conditioning and bathrooms so I really don't.
Honestly, I didn't really want to go. We had had a few disagreements over the whole idea of the trip. As crazy as I can be, I don't really feel comfortable around large groups of people I don't know if they're drinking much. Let's face it, it's the river. There will be copious amounts of alcohol consumed. Also, I can be very easily irritated when I'm drinking. I didn't want to get mad at people I didn't know for some stupid reason or get them mad at me.
I am SO glad I went, however. I've never met a better group of people in my life. And I've never had more adventures in four days than I did this last weekend.
We were supposed to have a campsite with electricity so we would have lights for beer pong and be able to plug in our speakers. When we arrived, however, we had been given one without access to electric. We talked the office into letting us move to a site where we could bum some off another site. Then we figured out the tent Dad let us borrow was missing all the poles, and my whole family was in Houston so we couldn't just drive the 30 minutes back to their place to get another one. Thankfully, someone had brought an extra tent. Other than that, the first night was pretty uneventful. My friends B and Joe came out to drink with us for awhile. I got pretty drunk and ended up opening up quicker than normal. The boyfriend and I ended up having to sleep on the ground the first night because we forgot to blow up the air mattress.
We floated the river Saturday. We were supposed to go the whole 12 miles, however, when you run out of food, beer, cigarettes, and water for an entire group of 15-20 drunk people you tend to abandon that mission. I ended the trip with a few sets of beads (imagine that!), some scrapes and bruises from being pushed out of the rafts a few times, and a major sunburn. It didn't help that we all ended up drunk before we even got on the bus to get to the river. Nothing like ended up hungover in the cruel Oklahoma sun. It took us 7 hours to go 6 miles, which is ridiculous. We were all playing musical rafts, shooting strangers with water guns, bribing girls to show their boobs for beads. It was a lot of fun.
That night, we had a transvestite show up at our camp. You guys know me and know I have no problem with anyone's sexuality, but this "girl" had issues. One of the guys brought her over, I assume with the intent to sleep with her, and realized when she stepped under our spotlight that she had at one point in her life been a man. If the group wasn't made up of mostly redneck-ish people, I'm sure it would have been fine, but we couldn't help but snicker. She didn't help matters much by being trashed and passing out in the middle of our campsite.
The next day we headed back out to the river. Very few of us drank that morning. Boyfriend and I ended up on a raft with another couple the entire trip, which was actually quite fun. We freaked out when we saw giant catfish in the river and were bummed when we realized the fishing gear was back at camp. So we rigged up a redneck fishing pole using the straps from the coozies you hang around your neck and a keyring from one of the dry boxes. We used pieces of sandwiches for bait. Obviously we didn't catch anything, but we had a lot of fun and got some great laughs from other people. The boys decided jumping at the fish from the raft was a much better way to go. It was quite comical. Again, we bailed at the 6 mile point. This time we had enough of everything, we were just way too exhausted from the day before to continue. And the wind was blowing so hard the wrong direction it would push you upstream at times.
Sunday night was pretty eventful. We got back to camp as the cops were pulling into the area. Apparently some guy was beat up and put in his raft to continue downstream. It was supposedly a gang fight (considering how close it is to Muskogee it's possible), however, that was never confirmed. We were visited by some very interesting gentlemen later. They were in kilts and tin foil hats. They asked us to sign their noodle. Even later, B and I were drunkenly two-stepping and from nowhere we here "I'll teach you to play country music!" One of the guys had been in his tent with a girl we began to refer to as Fluffy White Chick from the next site over, and he came out butt ass naked. The few of us that were still awake ended up on the other side of the fire from him as he attempted to piss in the fire. Then he approached us asking "Who wants a hug?" Fuckers pushed the smallest person out front... We ended the night "singing" metal and discussing what groups we like and hate.
Monday we all headed out. Boyfriend and I spent the night at my parents' house because we were exhausted and didn't want to fight post holiday traffic. It was definitely the best weekend I've had in a long time!
 |
| B and I on night 1 |
 |
| The boyfriend and I on our first vacation together!! Love him! |
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| Tin foil kilt men with their noodle |
 |
| Beer pong! |
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| I think we're freakin adorable, just sayin. |
 |
| No clue what Joe and I are doing here, but it must have been hilarious to the guy behind me. |
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| Boyfriend and one of the guys playing beer pong |
Love!!
Friday, May 25, 2012
Would things be different?
I made love for the first time the other night. I've had one-night-stands, great sex, been straight out fucked, but never until then had I made love. I don't know if he'd call it the same thing, guys have this strange aversion to the phrase "making love" I've noticed. But screw what he thinks in this instance. Yes. Yes. It was amazing. I love the feeling of his arms around me anytime, add that to intense intimacy and you've got me hooked like a cat on catnip. As much as I'd love to go into details, I'm gonna keep those to myself.
Strange way to start a post that sounds very retro- and intro-spective from the title, right? Basically, I don't know how I got here. Ok I do, you don't. I used to be what some would call a goody-good, now I'm a partier who's always up for trying new and crazy things. I was the one who got Mom and Bubba going to church when I was in middle school. I was very devout for several years, was even asked to be a counselor at camp by the dean of the camp. Unfortunately, I was made to feel like an outcast and like a bad believer for reasons I still don't know. So I decided to live my life my way and enjoy whatever I could. I'm happier this way. I don't feel like I'm not living up to someone else's expectations of me.
I look back on everything I've done, the people I've met, and the things that have happened to me, and I wonder if I would be where I am now if things hadn't been the way they were--and if I were here anyway, would the way I feel be any different?
I moved around a lot as a kid. We were never a military family, my parents were just always looking for better opportunities for Bubba and I. Until they moved to their current location, I was never in one school longer than 4 years. I did live in the same house for 8, but changed schools twice. After 4 years in Norman, I have to itch to move. Nothing too drastic, probably just Tulsa, but its still there. Unfortunately, I don't have the funds and even if I did my lease isn't up for awhile. Well... that and I found something worth staying for. Or someone I should say. Thankfully, we both had plans to move there before we met. It's early but I think it's pretty awesome that we found each other in the midst of starting plans to move to the same city. It's better than meeting someone and leaving without them shortly after or staying somewhere you don't want to be just for someone new. Hopefully things work out well.
I dated a lot of losers over the last few years. Actually, that's unfair. I've become friends with most of them since, and for the most part, they're all pretty awesome guys. Just not who I should be with. They had their redeeming qualities while I was with them, and I'm sure most of those reasons are why we can now be friends, but meshing with me was not one of them. That, and they all broke my heart in one way or another. Oddly enough, I only went into a depression because of one of them, other times it was them. Strange when you think about it... You hurt me, I leave you, you're the one depressed... Doesn't entirely make sense now that I think about it, but what in this world really does? I learned about myself from those guys, so I'm thankful.
With that said, some of the guys I dated messed me up for awhile. I've been cheated on, used, emotionally and physically abused (not to an extreme on either, but it still fucks you up), and things I don't entirely want to list on here. Men can be awful creatures. So can women. I could be controlling and possessive, I used to be highly jealous person, I'm sure I tore a few guys down. Some of it was defense mechanisms, other times it was immaturity and insecurity. I'm still young so I'm probably still going to make big mistakes when it comes to all this, but hopefully I never repeat any of these mistakes.
I've had many good friends over the years. Most of whom I am still in contact with and very close to even if we don't see each other. Others have decided I'm not a vital part of their lives anymore. Almost everyone I'm extremely close to has stabbed me in the back, but I did the same at some point. The fact that we can get past that makes us even closer I believe. It hurts thinking about why I've lost some people, most (not all) could easily be fixed by a heart-to-heart that I'm more than willing to have but the idea has not been reciprocated. I know that means they aren't meant to be a current part of my life, but that doesn't change the fact that it does hurt. Doesn't matter, they may not know or believe this but if ever any of them ever needed me I'd be there in a heartbeat because of how important they once were.
Looking back on all this, I can't help but wonder: would things be different now if part or all of this hadn't have happened in my past? Would I have been able to just start becoming spontaneous in many aspects of my life? I wouldn't have Tank if I wasn't so I wouldn't have my only furbaby. I wouldn't have bought Cleo either (I miss my Little Bit). Would I be so open to meeting new people? I don't think I would have gone bowling recently with a group of people I only know because they are regulars where I work if I didn't feel the need to meet new people and surround myself with people who just want to enjoy life. Would I guard myself, unlike I used to so that I know if someone is worth having my trust? Doubtful, I was a naive thing for a long time.
The last 6 1/2 years have made me feel more worldly (though, I haven't traveled much at all). Maybe "somewhat wise" is the phrase I'm looking for. I've had some interesting experiences, most of which happened between July and now. Not all of them were great, but some were amazing. However, I wouldn't trade any of it.
Because of all this, I have what I have now. The strongest friendships I've ever had with people who will always be there and vice versa. My own little family of me and my furbaby who makes me smile everyday of my life. A job, that while doesn't keep my wallet full, makes me happy at the end of the day and has let me meet some awesome people. And an amazing man who knows about my somewhat screwed up past; he accepts me with all my quirks and insecurities and makes me beautiful, safe, and loved. I fell for him hard and fast. Four months and I can't even sleep without him next to me anymore. It's insane.
Maybe none of this will last forever, maybe it will. All I know is that honestly I've never been happier. And I know things wouldn't be this way if my past hadn't set me on this path.
I know the introduction to this post is still a little unnerving and possibly odd to some. The point was making a complete circle. I'm amazingly happy and that experience wouldn't have happened if I hadn't have gotten to this place in my life. Crazy, huh? Maybe I would never know what it was like to make love. Ugh, ok even to me that phrase is awkward and cliche haha. Oh well, it is what it is.
I'm off to bed hopefully. The boyfriend, his friends, and I are headed to the river tomorrow for a weekend of floating, camping, and drinking. Finally! Time away from the craziness of real life :-D Huh, oddly enough this fits under Thankful Thursdays (yeah yeah I realize it's 4:30 Friday morning but I haven't gone to bed yet so it's still Thursday lol).
G'night lovelies!
Love!!
Strange way to start a post that sounds very retro- and intro-spective from the title, right? Basically, I don't know how I got here. Ok I do, you don't. I used to be what some would call a goody-good, now I'm a partier who's always up for trying new and crazy things. I was the one who got Mom and Bubba going to church when I was in middle school. I was very devout for several years, was even asked to be a counselor at camp by the dean of the camp. Unfortunately, I was made to feel like an outcast and like a bad believer for reasons I still don't know. So I decided to live my life my way and enjoy whatever I could. I'm happier this way. I don't feel like I'm not living up to someone else's expectations of me.
I look back on everything I've done, the people I've met, and the things that have happened to me, and I wonder if I would be where I am now if things hadn't been the way they were--and if I were here anyway, would the way I feel be any different?
I moved around a lot as a kid. We were never a military family, my parents were just always looking for better opportunities for Bubba and I. Until they moved to their current location, I was never in one school longer than 4 years. I did live in the same house for 8, but changed schools twice. After 4 years in Norman, I have to itch to move. Nothing too drastic, probably just Tulsa, but its still there. Unfortunately, I don't have the funds and even if I did my lease isn't up for awhile. Well... that and I found something worth staying for. Or someone I should say. Thankfully, we both had plans to move there before we met. It's early but I think it's pretty awesome that we found each other in the midst of starting plans to move to the same city. It's better than meeting someone and leaving without them shortly after or staying somewhere you don't want to be just for someone new. Hopefully things work out well.
I dated a lot of losers over the last few years. Actually, that's unfair. I've become friends with most of them since, and for the most part, they're all pretty awesome guys. Just not who I should be with. They had their redeeming qualities while I was with them, and I'm sure most of those reasons are why we can now be friends, but meshing with me was not one of them. That, and they all broke my heart in one way or another. Oddly enough, I only went into a depression because of one of them, other times it was them. Strange when you think about it... You hurt me, I leave you, you're the one depressed... Doesn't entirely make sense now that I think about it, but what in this world really does? I learned about myself from those guys, so I'm thankful.
With that said, some of the guys I dated messed me up for awhile. I've been cheated on, used, emotionally and physically abused (not to an extreme on either, but it still fucks you up), and things I don't entirely want to list on here. Men can be awful creatures. So can women. I could be controlling and possessive, I used to be highly jealous person, I'm sure I tore a few guys down. Some of it was defense mechanisms, other times it was immaturity and insecurity. I'm still young so I'm probably still going to make big mistakes when it comes to all this, but hopefully I never repeat any of these mistakes.
I've had many good friends over the years. Most of whom I am still in contact with and very close to even if we don't see each other. Others have decided I'm not a vital part of their lives anymore. Almost everyone I'm extremely close to has stabbed me in the back, but I did the same at some point. The fact that we can get past that makes us even closer I believe. It hurts thinking about why I've lost some people, most (not all) could easily be fixed by a heart-to-heart that I'm more than willing to have but the idea has not been reciprocated. I know that means they aren't meant to be a current part of my life, but that doesn't change the fact that it does hurt. Doesn't matter, they may not know or believe this but if ever any of them ever needed me I'd be there in a heartbeat because of how important they once were.
Looking back on all this, I can't help but wonder: would things be different now if part or all of this hadn't have happened in my past? Would I have been able to just start becoming spontaneous in many aspects of my life? I wouldn't have Tank if I wasn't so I wouldn't have my only furbaby. I wouldn't have bought Cleo either (I miss my Little Bit). Would I be so open to meeting new people? I don't think I would have gone bowling recently with a group of people I only know because they are regulars where I work if I didn't feel the need to meet new people and surround myself with people who just want to enjoy life. Would I guard myself, unlike I used to so that I know if someone is worth having my trust? Doubtful, I was a naive thing for a long time.
The last 6 1/2 years have made me feel more worldly (though, I haven't traveled much at all). Maybe "somewhat wise" is the phrase I'm looking for. I've had some interesting experiences, most of which happened between July and now. Not all of them were great, but some were amazing. However, I wouldn't trade any of it.
Because of all this, I have what I have now. The strongest friendships I've ever had with people who will always be there and vice versa. My own little family of me and my furbaby who makes me smile everyday of my life. A job, that while doesn't keep my wallet full, makes me happy at the end of the day and has let me meet some awesome people. And an amazing man who knows about my somewhat screwed up past; he accepts me with all my quirks and insecurities and makes me beautiful, safe, and loved. I fell for him hard and fast. Four months and I can't even sleep without him next to me anymore. It's insane.
Maybe none of this will last forever, maybe it will. All I know is that honestly I've never been happier. And I know things wouldn't be this way if my past hadn't set me on this path.
I know the introduction to this post is still a little unnerving and possibly odd to some. The point was making a complete circle. I'm amazingly happy and that experience wouldn't have happened if I hadn't have gotten to this place in my life. Crazy, huh? Maybe I would never know what it was like to make love. Ugh, ok even to me that phrase is awkward and cliche haha. Oh well, it is what it is.
I'm off to bed hopefully. The boyfriend, his friends, and I are headed to the river tomorrow for a weekend of floating, camping, and drinking. Finally! Time away from the craziness of real life :-D Huh, oddly enough this fits under Thankful Thursdays (yeah yeah I realize it's 4:30 Friday morning but I haven't gone to bed yet so it's still Thursday lol).
G'night lovelies!
Love!!
Thursday, May 10, 2012
A personal and painful confession
Let me start this by saying, I know my mother and brother will probably read this, along with others who are close to me, and will not like what they are about to read. This is somewhat of a warning. If you don't want your picture of me as a strong, independent person who always has and always will deal with all of life's hardships in a rational way, please don't continue reading this. This is personal confession, and its extremely hard for me to write and make public. Don't judge me on my past and what I still fight with every day. With that said, here we go.
The other day, someone close to me was telling me about their past with a mutual friend of ours. This person told me that the friend supposedly cut themselves to get attention in a rough situation. They continued to say that they could never understand why someone would do that to themselves and they would never deal with someone who did.
This broke my heart.
People deal with pain, rejection, failure, etc. in many different ways. Most people can go through life and more or less accept what comes at them. Others cannot. Some do not know how to deal with these things that are part of every day life. You may think they are desperate for attention or being selfish, but honestly, most of the time they aren't.
I have known many people who were or currently are self-mutilators. They don't tell people, they get caught. One of the strongest people I have ever met, once had covered their body in over 200 cuts. They hid it. One day someone figured it out. This person still has issues with different types of self-mutilation, but fights it off every time they get the urge. They've learned how to deal in a different way.
Oddly enough, other ways can be more detrimental. I've seen so many people turn to drugs or alcohol after being found out. That ruins lives faster than anything else. It also directly affects those around you in how you act while under the influence.
Self-mutilators don't always have a mental disorder, such as depression or bi-polarism either; although, there is a good chance that in most cases the person does have at least a slight case of one or the other. Most often than not, these people internalize their problems.
I'm one of those people who internalize things. I have a hard time telling people that I'm upset, especially if they are the person that I'm upset with. I let it all pile up. I can handle a lot, but over time it adds up. This usually leads to a big problem that shouldn't have even come up. I don't like hurting others, I don't like telling them they're wrong or they've done something to hurt me even when it's small. At the time, I feel it isn't a big deal and I will get over it eventually. While I may get over it, it eventually comes back up if things continue to happen.
You would think the little things would be the easiest to talk about, but they aren't. They make me feel like I seem petty, however, I know it would be better to look that way for a short time than like a crazy person later on.
I say all this because I used to be one of these people. When things got to tough or too much to deal with, I would handle it by releasing my pain physically. I don't have scars. You could search my body over and never find evidence of this behavior. Like I said before, people know how to hide it.
I'm not saying this for pity, because believe me, the few people that saw the evidence of it made me feel awful about myself and my decision to do it. I'm finally saying it because you never know people as well as you think you do. You don't know how the things you say or do affect them. No, I don't do it anymore. Yes, I do struggle with the urge occasionally, but very rarely. I've found other ways to deal: working out, Tank, writing. I still have a very hard time telling people they've upset or hurt me. It seems to always cause more problems. That is most likely because I don't know how to breach the subject gently.
Personally though, I feel I shouldn't have to worry about someone else's feelings if I'm telling them that they have wronged me. If it was a misunderstanding, tell me so. I'm not going to throw a tantrum, I'll just tell you my point of view. Don't tell me I'm being stupid or too sensitive, that will make the situation worse. Just because something doesn't or wouldn't bother one person, doesn't mean it's the same for everyone.
I know it is hard for people to understand why others to this to themselves. Those people seem weak and selfish, and I can understand that point of view. I just wish for once, someone would try to see things from the "alternative" view. We internalize. We're afraid. We don't feel good about what we've done. We don't want you to know. For me, the physical pain was much easier to deal with than emotional. It was like the act released it from my body temporarily. It's not a healthy way to deal. It doesn't make life easier, and doesn't make the issues go away.
Between this and the ways I deal now, I did try alcohol to a point. Other than giving me a few nights of blackness, it didn't help at all and left me with painful headaches the next day. Those around me knew what I was doing and worried about me. I didn't put myself in compromising situations or drive, but it was still extremely stupid. I've lost a few people I care about very very much because of this behavior. I may still have a beer or two after a rough day, but I don't try to deal that way anymore. It wasn't worth making myself sick, having headaches, or losing people. Nothing is worth that.
The reason I am posting this and making my personal battle public is because people don't realize that by judging those who do these things, they could very possibly be making it worse. Don't condemn them, talk to them, find out what's bothering them so much that it could drive them to this behavior. The answer could be surprisingly simple and easily dealt with or complex enough that they need to seek professional advice. I realize most people think that anyone who hurts themselves needs professional help, but that's not the answer for everyone. I don't think I could sit there face-to-face with a complete stranger and tell them my problems. I'm afraid they will judge me or tell me I'm being stupid. And yes, I realize that they cannot openly say that, but they can think it. I'm thankful I have a handful of people who realize I struggle with little things and will listen even if I need to bitch about something that may be insignificant to them.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell the person who made me feel I needed to write this the truth. I don't want them to worry about every little thing, that maybe it could make me relapse. Because it isn't like that. Yes, I have tiny urges at times, but when that happens I grab a cigarette and try to come up with some way to get my mind off of it. Usually I end up online or working on my book. Sometimes I go to the gym. Sometimes I just cry. Every situation is different, as is every solution.
Judgement isn't the solution, it doesn't help the person. Compassion and a shoulder to lean on are the best things to offer. They do so much more than you could ever dream. It could save a life, in all meanings of the phrase.
The other day, someone close to me was telling me about their past with a mutual friend of ours. This person told me that the friend supposedly cut themselves to get attention in a rough situation. They continued to say that they could never understand why someone would do that to themselves and they would never deal with someone who did.
This broke my heart.
People deal with pain, rejection, failure, etc. in many different ways. Most people can go through life and more or less accept what comes at them. Others cannot. Some do not know how to deal with these things that are part of every day life. You may think they are desperate for attention or being selfish, but honestly, most of the time they aren't.
I have known many people who were or currently are self-mutilators. They don't tell people, they get caught. One of the strongest people I have ever met, once had covered their body in over 200 cuts. They hid it. One day someone figured it out. This person still has issues with different types of self-mutilation, but fights it off every time they get the urge. They've learned how to deal in a different way.
Oddly enough, other ways can be more detrimental. I've seen so many people turn to drugs or alcohol after being found out. That ruins lives faster than anything else. It also directly affects those around you in how you act while under the influence.
Self-mutilators don't always have a mental disorder, such as depression or bi-polarism either; although, there is a good chance that in most cases the person does have at least a slight case of one or the other. Most often than not, these people internalize their problems.
I'm one of those people who internalize things. I have a hard time telling people that I'm upset, especially if they are the person that I'm upset with. I let it all pile up. I can handle a lot, but over time it adds up. This usually leads to a big problem that shouldn't have even come up. I don't like hurting others, I don't like telling them they're wrong or they've done something to hurt me even when it's small. At the time, I feel it isn't a big deal and I will get over it eventually. While I may get over it, it eventually comes back up if things continue to happen.
You would think the little things would be the easiest to talk about, but they aren't. They make me feel like I seem petty, however, I know it would be better to look that way for a short time than like a crazy person later on.
I say all this because I used to be one of these people. When things got to tough or too much to deal with, I would handle it by releasing my pain physically. I don't have scars. You could search my body over and never find evidence of this behavior. Like I said before, people know how to hide it.
I'm not saying this for pity, because believe me, the few people that saw the evidence of it made me feel awful about myself and my decision to do it. I'm finally saying it because you never know people as well as you think you do. You don't know how the things you say or do affect them. No, I don't do it anymore. Yes, I do struggle with the urge occasionally, but very rarely. I've found other ways to deal: working out, Tank, writing. I still have a very hard time telling people they've upset or hurt me. It seems to always cause more problems. That is most likely because I don't know how to breach the subject gently.
Personally though, I feel I shouldn't have to worry about someone else's feelings if I'm telling them that they have wronged me. If it was a misunderstanding, tell me so. I'm not going to throw a tantrum, I'll just tell you my point of view. Don't tell me I'm being stupid or too sensitive, that will make the situation worse. Just because something doesn't or wouldn't bother one person, doesn't mean it's the same for everyone.
I know it is hard for people to understand why others to this to themselves. Those people seem weak and selfish, and I can understand that point of view. I just wish for once, someone would try to see things from the "alternative" view. We internalize. We're afraid. We don't feel good about what we've done. We don't want you to know. For me, the physical pain was much easier to deal with than emotional. It was like the act released it from my body temporarily. It's not a healthy way to deal. It doesn't make life easier, and doesn't make the issues go away.
Between this and the ways I deal now, I did try alcohol to a point. Other than giving me a few nights of blackness, it didn't help at all and left me with painful headaches the next day. Those around me knew what I was doing and worried about me. I didn't put myself in compromising situations or drive, but it was still extremely stupid. I've lost a few people I care about very very much because of this behavior. I may still have a beer or two after a rough day, but I don't try to deal that way anymore. It wasn't worth making myself sick, having headaches, or losing people. Nothing is worth that.
The reason I am posting this and making my personal battle public is because people don't realize that by judging those who do these things, they could very possibly be making it worse. Don't condemn them, talk to them, find out what's bothering them so much that it could drive them to this behavior. The answer could be surprisingly simple and easily dealt with or complex enough that they need to seek professional advice. I realize most people think that anyone who hurts themselves needs professional help, but that's not the answer for everyone. I don't think I could sit there face-to-face with a complete stranger and tell them my problems. I'm afraid they will judge me or tell me I'm being stupid. And yes, I realize that they cannot openly say that, but they can think it. I'm thankful I have a handful of people who realize I struggle with little things and will listen even if I need to bitch about something that may be insignificant to them.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell the person who made me feel I needed to write this the truth. I don't want them to worry about every little thing, that maybe it could make me relapse. Because it isn't like that. Yes, I have tiny urges at times, but when that happens I grab a cigarette and try to come up with some way to get my mind off of it. Usually I end up online or working on my book. Sometimes I go to the gym. Sometimes I just cry. Every situation is different, as is every solution.
Judgement isn't the solution, it doesn't help the person. Compassion and a shoulder to lean on are the best things to offer. They do so much more than you could ever dream. It could save a life, in all meanings of the phrase.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Stillwater Stole My Heart
You guys know I LOVE LOVE LOVE my Sooners and Norman and everything about the two. So you're probably wondering how our in-state rival town won my heart. I know I wasn't expecting it. The boyfriend and I went to Stillwater to go to Calf Fry and so he could finally meet Bubba.
Calf Fry is a big 3-day country music concert where they serve calf fries. If you don't know what that is, well... it's fried bull testicles... but they're soooo good!!!
We stayed at the apartment of one of boyfriend's good friends. He was pretty kick ass. I got to meet some of his really good friends and loved them all!
I was pretty nervous about Bubba meeting him. He's only liked one of the people I've dated and well, that one ended really well... Boyfriend got major points for having gone to OSU and not liking the Dallas Cowboys even before he met Bubba. Getting ready for us all to go to lunch was nerve racking! We got to Eskimo Joe's late, which drives Bubba crazy because I'm hardly ever on time to things like that. Lunch went great! Bubba and I talked the whole time, while Boyfriend laughed at us. Honestly, we did sound like a couple of gossiping beauty shop ladies. When he slipped off to the restroom, Bub told me that he liked him even though he's quiet. HUGE sigh of relief there. Bub is the person whose opinion I respect the most out of my family.
That night, we decided to skip Calf Fry and let me check out the bar scene. First stop: Stonewall. A dive of a techno bar that I fell in love with! We ran into people we knew, it was great to see my friend T again. I would have been perfectly happy to stay there all night. Boyfriend had other plans though. We went to The Strip, which is basically their version of Campus Corner (collection of bars/clubs in one area where all the college kids go). He showed me College Bar and after about 5 minutes I realized he had taken me to the college aged version of Hudson's (where I work). It was pretty awesome. When a place has an old Mortal Combat arcade game, I'm in. I challenged him to a future, sober game of said game--which I intend to make good on and kick his ass at! He countered with saying he finds it hot that I love old video games. Cheater lol.
After that, we finished the night at Outlaws. It's basically Sooner Corral (a country dance club in Moore) but for 21 and up only and they actually have liquor lol. Talk about heaven!! Boyfriend is not a country music fan, but he takes me to places like this because he knows it makes me happy and giddy and that makes him happy apparently. I swear he's perfect. He even knows how to two-step and dances with me! This was no exception. By the time they were closing, I was out of breath from dancing.
The next day, we were pretty damn lazy. We went to his best friend's place around 7 and stayed there until Bub was ready to go to Calf Fry. We got there pretty late. I had to listen to Cody Canada and his new band (he was the lead singer of Cross Canadian Ragweed until they broke up) while we were waiting in line, but it was still great. I'm not entirely sure what I think of the new sound since I loved CCRW, but its pretty good. We finally got in and got to see Randy Rogers' Band. I love them!!! Kiss Me In The Dark is an awesome song and I got to see it performed!! Made my weekend. We had a few beers, even got a few for free from some random guys (who gave me a little shit for being from OU, but it was all in fun which is somewhat new to me. People aren't that nice in Norman most of the time...).
We had to leave early yesterday morning so we could both go to work... I didn't want to leave... People in Stillwater are much more down-to-earth and accepting. I made friends in the bathroom at Stonewall because I have piercings and at College Bar because I wasn't from there. Things like that are getting rarer in Norman, it seems. The pace of the town seems more laid back, as well. I'm going to have to make a habit of visiting now I'm afraid.
*Yawn* Oh its been a long day. Considering I haven't been off work long, I still consider it yesterday. I'll leave you guys with some pictures and then I'm off to bed!
Love!!!
Calf Fry is a big 3-day country music concert where they serve calf fries. If you don't know what that is, well... it's fried bull testicles... but they're soooo good!!!
We stayed at the apartment of one of boyfriend's good friends. He was pretty kick ass. I got to meet some of his really good friends and loved them all!
I was pretty nervous about Bubba meeting him. He's only liked one of the people I've dated and well, that one ended really well... Boyfriend got major points for having gone to OSU and not liking the Dallas Cowboys even before he met Bubba. Getting ready for us all to go to lunch was nerve racking! We got to Eskimo Joe's late, which drives Bubba crazy because I'm hardly ever on time to things like that. Lunch went great! Bubba and I talked the whole time, while Boyfriend laughed at us. Honestly, we did sound like a couple of gossiping beauty shop ladies. When he slipped off to the restroom, Bub told me that he liked him even though he's quiet. HUGE sigh of relief there. Bub is the person whose opinion I respect the most out of my family.
That night, we decided to skip Calf Fry and let me check out the bar scene. First stop: Stonewall. A dive of a techno bar that I fell in love with! We ran into people we knew, it was great to see my friend T again. I would have been perfectly happy to stay there all night. Boyfriend had other plans though. We went to The Strip, which is basically their version of Campus Corner (collection of bars/clubs in one area where all the college kids go). He showed me College Bar and after about 5 minutes I realized he had taken me to the college aged version of Hudson's (where I work). It was pretty awesome. When a place has an old Mortal Combat arcade game, I'm in. I challenged him to a future, sober game of said game--which I intend to make good on and kick his ass at! He countered with saying he finds it hot that I love old video games. Cheater lol.
After that, we finished the night at Outlaws. It's basically Sooner Corral (a country dance club in Moore) but for 21 and up only and they actually have liquor lol. Talk about heaven!! Boyfriend is not a country music fan, but he takes me to places like this because he knows it makes me happy and giddy and that makes him happy apparently. I swear he's perfect. He even knows how to two-step and dances with me! This was no exception. By the time they were closing, I was out of breath from dancing.
The next day, we were pretty damn lazy. We went to his best friend's place around 7 and stayed there until Bub was ready to go to Calf Fry. We got there pretty late. I had to listen to Cody Canada and his new band (he was the lead singer of Cross Canadian Ragweed until they broke up) while we were waiting in line, but it was still great. I'm not entirely sure what I think of the new sound since I loved CCRW, but its pretty good. We finally got in and got to see Randy Rogers' Band. I love them!!! Kiss Me In The Dark is an awesome song and I got to see it performed!! Made my weekend. We had a few beers, even got a few for free from some random guys (who gave me a little shit for being from OU, but it was all in fun which is somewhat new to me. People aren't that nice in Norman most of the time...).
We had to leave early yesterday morning so we could both go to work... I didn't want to leave... People in Stillwater are much more down-to-earth and accepting. I made friends in the bathroom at Stonewall because I have piercings and at College Bar because I wasn't from there. Things like that are getting rarer in Norman, it seems. The pace of the town seems more laid back, as well. I'm going to have to make a habit of visiting now I'm afraid.
*Yawn* Oh its been a long day. Considering I haven't been off work long, I still consider it yesterday. I'll leave you guys with some pictures and then I'm off to bed!
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| Randy Rogers' Band |
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| Boyfriend and I |
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| More Randy Rogers' |
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| Boyfriend, bubba and I! |
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Pt2: Dating peeves
Yesterday I ranted about every day pet peeves. Today, it's dating pet peeves. These are basically deal breakers for me. All are things that I have pissed me off in past relationships, and I refuse to deal with them now or in the future. Don't like it? Move on.
Being straight out rude to my friends/family. I understand people have issues with other people, I do. But let's be nice to those I care about in front of me. Unless they purposely provoke you, pissing me off isn't going to be worth your time. I'm a bitch. You probably know this already, but you will send me into super bitch mode. They were here before you, and chances are they will be here after you. They are part of what has shaped me into who I am, so if you really do care about me you should be thankful for them.
Dropping off the face of the planet. Dear god, what don't guys understand that this is NO WAY to keep a girl interested. You are all awesome and wanna hang out all the time, and then out of nowhere you don't talk to me or show up in social settings. I've had so many guys get mad when I lose interest because of this. Do you expect me to just sit around waiting on you? Sorry, if you act like you aren't interested anymore, I won't be. I understand things come up, shit happens. Give me some indication you're still interested. Don't wait until I'm talking to someone else to decide to tell me you want to be with me. I'm not going to come running back. I'll be your friend and that's about it.
Those stupid flirt/dating apps. OMG!!! This caused a major rift a little over a year ago, and I will not compromise on it. You're seeing someone. How's about we don't use a singles app to flirt. If you don't want to flirt with me, leave! That is the equivalent of flirting with other girls in person. I saw what was said the last time this happened, and let's just say he had every right to hide it from me. That's a form of cheating. If you can't show me because you know it will bother me, you shouldn't be doing it. I stop "talking" to all other guys when I'm with someone, why can't you do the same? If you can do it, I can do it. And I'm worse. Having a vagina usually means the person is a lot better at flirting and teasing and whatnot. And trust me, I know how. Let's not cause super bitch here.
Not giving me girl time. I need time to be a girl. Don't get me wrong I like spending time with you, but I go a lil nuts when I don't get to see my girls. They keep me grounded. And it makes you seem clingy if you don't spend time with the guys. Clingy is bad. I get resentful and well my girls get mad. Not fun to deal with.
Arguing about stupid shit. Yeah if I have to explain this one, you're hopeless.
Not going on dates. This is what has helped kill ummmmm all of my relationships. God, take to me to dinner every now and then, show me off. If you're ashamed and don't want to, leave. I don't need gourmet food to be happy. Hell, take me to McDonald's but make it fun. Fun is all that matters. Take me dancing. This gets you points. I love to go dancing. Picnic, walks, sitting under the stars in the middle of nowhere, etc etc etc. There are SOOOO many things you can do.
Ugh I have a lot more, but these are my major ones. The rest I can deal with to a point. Sadly, these are pretty universal but a lot of guys do them all... Show me one that doesn't do at least one on a regular basis... Maybe I'm too picky, but I know one day someone will be able to live up to this. I'll be patient. Ish. lol
Notice I make no mention of ex's? I don't have a problem with ex's as long as they don't cause a problem for us. I still talk to most of mine, they were friends before we dated. Why can't we be friends after?
I gotta get out of the apartment, it's too pretty outside.
Beware the Ides of March!
Love!!!
Being straight out rude to my friends/family. I understand people have issues with other people, I do. But let's be nice to those I care about in front of me. Unless they purposely provoke you, pissing me off isn't going to be worth your time. I'm a bitch. You probably know this already, but you will send me into super bitch mode. They were here before you, and chances are they will be here after you. They are part of what has shaped me into who I am, so if you really do care about me you should be thankful for them.
Dropping off the face of the planet. Dear god, what don't guys understand that this is NO WAY to keep a girl interested. You are all awesome and wanna hang out all the time, and then out of nowhere you don't talk to me or show up in social settings. I've had so many guys get mad when I lose interest because of this. Do you expect me to just sit around waiting on you? Sorry, if you act like you aren't interested anymore, I won't be. I understand things come up, shit happens. Give me some indication you're still interested. Don't wait until I'm talking to someone else to decide to tell me you want to be with me. I'm not going to come running back. I'll be your friend and that's about it.
Those stupid flirt/dating apps. OMG!!! This caused a major rift a little over a year ago, and I will not compromise on it. You're seeing someone. How's about we don't use a singles app to flirt. If you don't want to flirt with me, leave! That is the equivalent of flirting with other girls in person. I saw what was said the last time this happened, and let's just say he had every right to hide it from me. That's a form of cheating. If you can't show me because you know it will bother me, you shouldn't be doing it. I stop "talking" to all other guys when I'm with someone, why can't you do the same? If you can do it, I can do it. And I'm worse. Having a vagina usually means the person is a lot better at flirting and teasing and whatnot. And trust me, I know how. Let's not cause super bitch here.
Not giving me girl time. I need time to be a girl. Don't get me wrong I like spending time with you, but I go a lil nuts when I don't get to see my girls. They keep me grounded. And it makes you seem clingy if you don't spend time with the guys. Clingy is bad. I get resentful and well my girls get mad. Not fun to deal with.
Arguing about stupid shit. Yeah if I have to explain this one, you're hopeless.
Not going on dates. This is what has helped kill ummmmm all of my relationships. God, take to me to dinner every now and then, show me off. If you're ashamed and don't want to, leave. I don't need gourmet food to be happy. Hell, take me to McDonald's but make it fun. Fun is all that matters. Take me dancing. This gets you points. I love to go dancing. Picnic, walks, sitting under the stars in the middle of nowhere, etc etc etc. There are SOOOO many things you can do.
Ugh I have a lot more, but these are my major ones. The rest I can deal with to a point. Sadly, these are pretty universal but a lot of guys do them all... Show me one that doesn't do at least one on a regular basis... Maybe I'm too picky, but I know one day someone will be able to live up to this. I'll be patient. Ish. lol
Notice I make no mention of ex's? I don't have a problem with ex's as long as they don't cause a problem for us. I still talk to most of mine, they were friends before we dated. Why can't we be friends after?
I gotta get out of the apartment, it's too pretty outside.
Beware the Ides of March!
Love!!!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Pet Peeves pt1
I have begun to realize that many things bother me. Big surprise there if you know me, right? So, I decided I would make a list. Just so ya know, you know why I get aggravated with you or something lol. There are actually two categories: things anyone can do and things the person I'm dating can do. Yep, I have a whole other set of things for that one. Here goes nothin! Oh, and feedback is more than welcome on this one.
Hand washing. Having a mother in the medical field and having worked with food and blood, this is a huge thing for me! I don't wash my hands every other minute or anything, but when you go to the restroom (especially a public one), wash your damn hands. There are sooooo many germs and bacteria in restrooms! You can even pick up STIs *gasp!* Okay maybe not with your hands, unless you like to wipe your hands on toilet seats, but still...
Not brushing your teeth/showering. Um, you're gonna stink. I don't want to smell it. Plus, you look all greasy and gross. I seem to have a thing about personal hygiene. Don't get me wrong, if you just plan on sitting at your house all day or only making a quick cigarette trip I can understand not showering (unless you reek). Hell, I do that occasionally. Please don't come into my place of employment or a social setting without at least a quick shower and some mouthwash. Oh, and deodorant. BO just disgusts me.
Digging into parts of my personal life that are none of your business. Unless I share it with you, let's not discuss it shall we? It's personal for a reason. If I do discuss it with you, that doesn't mean I want everyone to know about it, so let's not bring it up in public. It's just bad manners.
Disgusting eating habits. Don't get me wrong, eat all the strange food you want. I do. But how about we use utensils with foods that need it? And don't chomp. I don't want to see it while your chewing. Gross. When people shovel food in their mouth, it disturbs me. How can you enjoy what you're eating? This one is kinda a dating thing too. Please don't be gross or impolite on a date, I WILL NOT go on another date with you.
Bad driving habits. Please go at least the speed limit, but not way over it either. And know the right-a-ways. If someone gets to the stop sign before you, they have precedence. Ugh, and not paying attention to traffic lights. I may run a yellow light every now and then, not purposely, but I stop at reds and don't go until it's green. I was almost hit head on last night by a guy who wasn't paying attention and decided when my light turned green to go across, he could go left across my lane. My heart almost stopped. Thankfully the jackass realized his light was still red and stopped in time to miss me. I can't really bitch about cellphone usage while driving, because I do it, but if you can't drive and do it. Don't. I prefer if people don't do it at night or in construction/heavy traffic though. I try to avoid those just because the risks are much greater. Be safe.
Telling me my beliefs are wrong. Big deal to me, this one. (ha, Yoda sounding) Everyone has their own beliefs on religion, politics, education, etc, etc, etc. I will respect the fact that we may not agree, please do the same. If you want to have a discussion or debate, I'm always up for that, but do not tell me that I'm wrong just because you don't believe in the same things I do. I was raised to think for myself (thank you mommy and daddy!), and our country was founded on the idea of free thinking. I don't understand why people think everyone must believe the same things. Where would we be? There would be no variety in life. Hell, why would you even talk to other people? You would know their opinions already, so why ask?
Treating animals badly. Ugh!!! Domestic animals usually do not know how to fend for themselves. Take care of them. Don't beat them, starve them, or be a horrible pet owner in general. If you can't take care of your pet, find someone who can and will. I understand most of us work, so you can't spend every moment with them. It happens. But love on them. I take Tank to the dog park as often as I can so he gets exercise and meets new dogs, since I live in an apartment. He also gets doggy playdates occasionally. The ex has been good about letting me bring him over to see his big sister Roxi, they both need it. Choke collars. &$%^#^%$*%!!!! Please do not use them unless you know how. They are not good for dogs to begin with, but in the hands of an inexperienced person they are dangerous to the poor animal. They are for training purposes. They are not a substitute for a real collar or harness. How about you let me put that around your neck and pull you around for a day or two and let those spikes dig into your neck??? No? Then don't do it to your dog.
Okay, this was longer than I expected. I'll have to do the dating one separate. I don't want to bog you guys down. I just needed to get this out lol.
What are your pet peeves? Anything you would add to my reasonings?
Happy Pi Day, Hump Day, and Steak and a BJ Day!!!
Love!!
Hand washing. Having a mother in the medical field and having worked with food and blood, this is a huge thing for me! I don't wash my hands every other minute or anything, but when you go to the restroom (especially a public one), wash your damn hands. There are sooooo many germs and bacteria in restrooms! You can even pick up STIs *gasp!* Okay maybe not with your hands, unless you like to wipe your hands on toilet seats, but still...
Not brushing your teeth/showering. Um, you're gonna stink. I don't want to smell it. Plus, you look all greasy and gross. I seem to have a thing about personal hygiene. Don't get me wrong, if you just plan on sitting at your house all day or only making a quick cigarette trip I can understand not showering (unless you reek). Hell, I do that occasionally. Please don't come into my place of employment or a social setting without at least a quick shower and some mouthwash. Oh, and deodorant. BO just disgusts me.
Digging into parts of my personal life that are none of your business. Unless I share it with you, let's not discuss it shall we? It's personal for a reason. If I do discuss it with you, that doesn't mean I want everyone to know about it, so let's not bring it up in public. It's just bad manners.
Disgusting eating habits. Don't get me wrong, eat all the strange food you want. I do. But how about we use utensils with foods that need it? And don't chomp. I don't want to see it while your chewing. Gross. When people shovel food in their mouth, it disturbs me. How can you enjoy what you're eating? This one is kinda a dating thing too. Please don't be gross or impolite on a date, I WILL NOT go on another date with you.
Bad driving habits. Please go at least the speed limit, but not way over it either. And know the right-a-ways. If someone gets to the stop sign before you, they have precedence. Ugh, and not paying attention to traffic lights. I may run a yellow light every now and then, not purposely, but I stop at reds and don't go until it's green. I was almost hit head on last night by a guy who wasn't paying attention and decided when my light turned green to go across, he could go left across my lane. My heart almost stopped. Thankfully the jackass realized his light was still red and stopped in time to miss me. I can't really bitch about cellphone usage while driving, because I do it, but if you can't drive and do it. Don't. I prefer if people don't do it at night or in construction/heavy traffic though. I try to avoid those just because the risks are much greater. Be safe.
Telling me my beliefs are wrong. Big deal to me, this one. (ha, Yoda sounding) Everyone has their own beliefs on religion, politics, education, etc, etc, etc. I will respect the fact that we may not agree, please do the same. If you want to have a discussion or debate, I'm always up for that, but do not tell me that I'm wrong just because you don't believe in the same things I do. I was raised to think for myself (thank you mommy and daddy!), and our country was founded on the idea of free thinking. I don't understand why people think everyone must believe the same things. Where would we be? There would be no variety in life. Hell, why would you even talk to other people? You would know their opinions already, so why ask?
Treating animals badly. Ugh!!! Domestic animals usually do not know how to fend for themselves. Take care of them. Don't beat them, starve them, or be a horrible pet owner in general. If you can't take care of your pet, find someone who can and will. I understand most of us work, so you can't spend every moment with them. It happens. But love on them. I take Tank to the dog park as often as I can so he gets exercise and meets new dogs, since I live in an apartment. He also gets doggy playdates occasionally. The ex has been good about letting me bring him over to see his big sister Roxi, they both need it. Choke collars. &$%^#^%$*%!!!! Please do not use them unless you know how. They are not good for dogs to begin with, but in the hands of an inexperienced person they are dangerous to the poor animal. They are for training purposes. They are not a substitute for a real collar or harness. How about you let me put that around your neck and pull you around for a day or two and let those spikes dig into your neck??? No? Then don't do it to your dog.
Okay, this was longer than I expected. I'll have to do the dating one separate. I don't want to bog you guys down. I just needed to get this out lol.
What are your pet peeves? Anything you would add to my reasonings?
Happy Pi Day, Hump Day, and Steak and a BJ Day!!!
Love!!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Say What?!? Saturday
Um... I think I'll pass on that dinner party, I don't wanna itch...
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Say what?!? Saturday
I realized the other day that I DO still have some of those random ass pictures from around the metro area that I wanted to use for a weekly feature. I know I've talked about it a few times, but now I'm doin it. So here it is, my first installment of Say what?!? Satuday.
Love!!!
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| That is one really big Keebler Elf!!! |
Love!!!Friday, January 6, 2012
Holiday Madness
I don't know about everyone else, but the holidays always stress me out. This year was no different. I ended up having to work on Christmas Eve, which sucked ass we weren't busy enough to justify being open, and when I got off work early that afternoon I baked FOUR batches of cookies to take to our family Christmas that evening. I also cooked dinner for the ex and his step-sister before they left town. (so nice of me... I really need to stop being so damn nice, makes him think he can walk all over me and treat me like shit...)
All of this, plus cleaning, made me late for our traditional evening festivities. Add to that taking a wrong exit to a place I go to at least once a month, and you have one stressed out Sassy Miss...
When I FINALLY got back on the right road I realized I had forgotten the cookies. I spent hours baking and left them on my damn cabinet in the festive red tub I had bought just for this occasion... I also had forgotten the foreign-cheese tray I had made up (I was broke this year so I did food).
Upon getting to Gigi's house, things went rather smoothly. I watched the kids open presents. Watched all the adults do the same. I didn't even care that I wasn't opening anything, I love watching all of their faces and seeing all the knickknacks.
Story of the night: "Wanna feel my ball?" Uncle B got a rubbery handsized football from my dad and was asking all the women above 18 this. Lots of laughs all around with this one.
The next day we had our traditional Christmas lunch. Unfortunately Granny Barb and Grandpa Del are not with us anymore (haven't been for a few years) so it was different than I'm used to (still different anyway). However, we did have them there in spirit.
The girls had me video them cooking our lunch. I tried to upload it but mom's computer won't let me :(
My family is a riot!
I ended up getting a really really nice new camera from my mother. She threatened poor Tank's life if he got ahold of this one--which I totally understand due to this and this. Of course you know this means no more boring, pictureless posts; unless I'm just feeling boring or lazy.
The ex got Tank and Cleo a stocking full of toys and a huge rawhide for Christmas. I told them it was from Santa for obvious reasons. I was a little more practical: a new collar/leash for Cleo and a bed for Tank's brandnew HUGE crate since hard plastic is uncomfortable (which now needs a good washing... damn dog lol). Here are the kids with their presents:
After all this craziness, I had New Year's Eve. This could be a post all on it's own but I'm lazy, it's getting late, and I have an episode of Vampire Diaries to watch!
Oh NYE... such crazy fun. Well, it ended that way, didn't start that way. The ex and I got into a huge fight when I went to pick him up to find masks for later that night. Needless to say, we are no longer in contact except to update each other on family health issues (both our fathers just had cancer scares this week, his father's test hasn't come back yet...). The rest of the night went off pretty damn well though.
The first stop of the night was a Business on Top, Party on Bottom party in the neighboring town. Twala and I got lost trying to find it, as did the car we were following (they lost us and found it...). It was kinda low key. A good handful of people, margaritas, and general goodtimes. Twala ended up having to leave early, so I road with my friend CC and the others to our main party of the night, a masquerade (can't be topped right? wrong. It was at a Dr. Suess-like house!)
I invited my new Irish friend I had met a few nights before at Bison Witches. He's funny and adorable. Apparently he's interested, but we'll see how that goes considering my recent situation. I also ran into a guy I hadn't seen in over a year, MW.
(MW and I met at our house warming party the ex and I and our roommates at the time had. None of the four of us knew him or his friend that came along. In fact, they showed in their work clothes and many people thought they were cops. Being the badass protective person I am, I met them halfway through the yard to make sure they weren't just party crashing or trying to arrest us. Needless to say, he ended up making out with another guest and being the center of gossip that night!)
No one kissed at midnight. We missed it actually. Depressing right? Not really, I think we all just ended up walking around the house kissing each other saying "happy new year" for the rest of the night, haha. I played some champagne pong and lost horribly. I think I had a bottle and a half by myself that night, but it really doesn't do much for me anymore. Played some card games, smoked some hookah (if you haven't tried this stuff, you must! It's legal and so much fun), and danced. Of course there was a little drunken drama, but that is expected, nothing that ruined anyone's night.
When I got home the next afternoon, I spent the rest of the day in bed. You know it was a good NYE when you wake up at like 8pm the next day! I would give you more details, but they're private (yes I do remember the whole night lol). How about we settle for some pictures?
All of this, plus cleaning, made me late for our traditional evening festivities. Add to that taking a wrong exit to a place I go to at least once a month, and you have one stressed out Sassy Miss...
When I FINALLY got back on the right road I realized I had forgotten the cookies. I spent hours baking and left them on my damn cabinet in the festive red tub I had bought just for this occasion... I also had forgotten the foreign-cheese tray I had made up (I was broke this year so I did food).
Upon getting to Gigi's house, things went rather smoothly. I watched the kids open presents. Watched all the adults do the same. I didn't even care that I wasn't opening anything, I love watching all of their faces and seeing all the knickknacks.
Story of the night: "Wanna feel my ball?" Uncle B got a rubbery handsized football from my dad and was asking all the women above 18 this. Lots of laughs all around with this one.
The next day we had our traditional Christmas lunch. Unfortunately Granny Barb and Grandpa Del are not with us anymore (haven't been for a few years) so it was different than I'm used to (still different anyway). However, we did have them there in spirit.
 |
| Grandpa Del and his favorite soda at lunch. |
My family is a riot!
I ended up getting a really really nice new camera from my mother. She threatened poor Tank's life if he got ahold of this one--which I totally understand due to this and this. Of course you know this means no more boring, pictureless posts; unless I'm just feeling boring or lazy.
The ex got Tank and Cleo a stocking full of toys and a huge rawhide for Christmas. I told them it was from Santa for obvious reasons. I was a little more practical: a new collar/leash for Cleo and a bed for Tank's brandnew HUGE crate since hard plastic is uncomfortable (which now needs a good washing... damn dog lol). Here are the kids with their presents:
After all this craziness, I had New Year's Eve. This could be a post all on it's own but I'm lazy, it's getting late, and I have an episode of Vampire Diaries to watch!
Oh NYE... such crazy fun. Well, it ended that way, didn't start that way. The ex and I got into a huge fight when I went to pick him up to find masks for later that night. Needless to say, we are no longer in contact except to update each other on family health issues (both our fathers just had cancer scares this week, his father's test hasn't come back yet...). The rest of the night went off pretty damn well though.
The first stop of the night was a Business on Top, Party on Bottom party in the neighboring town. Twala and I got lost trying to find it, as did the car we were following (they lost us and found it...). It was kinda low key. A good handful of people, margaritas, and general goodtimes. Twala ended up having to leave early, so I road with my friend CC and the others to our main party of the night, a masquerade (can't be topped right? wrong. It was at a Dr. Suess-like house!)
I invited my new Irish friend I had met a few nights before at Bison Witches. He's funny and adorable. Apparently he's interested, but we'll see how that goes considering my recent situation. I also ran into a guy I hadn't seen in over a year, MW.
(MW and I met at our house warming party the ex and I and our roommates at the time had. None of the four of us knew him or his friend that came along. In fact, they showed in their work clothes and many people thought they were cops. Being the badass protective person I am, I met them halfway through the yard to make sure they weren't just party crashing or trying to arrest us. Needless to say, he ended up making out with another guest and being the center of gossip that night!)
No one kissed at midnight. We missed it actually. Depressing right? Not really, I think we all just ended up walking around the house kissing each other saying "happy new year" for the rest of the night, haha. I played some champagne pong and lost horribly. I think I had a bottle and a half by myself that night, but it really doesn't do much for me anymore. Played some card games, smoked some hookah (if you haven't tried this stuff, you must! It's legal and so much fun), and danced. Of course there was a little drunken drama, but that is expected, nothing that ruined anyone's night.
When I got home the next afternoon, I spent the rest of the day in bed. You know it was a good NYE when you wake up at like 8pm the next day! I would give you more details, but they're private (yes I do remember the whole night lol). How about we settle for some pictures?
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| My kickass hair and makeup for the night! |
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| Hammie and I |
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| CC and lil CC! |
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| Madi and I with Irishman in the back. |
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| W and I |
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| Red hot glow for NYE! |
Hope you guys had fun too!
Love!!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Just a quick post tonight/this morning
Sorry I haven't posted since Monday. Lots of work this week and stress. We're going home to eastern Oklahoma this weekend to see our folks. I'll also be attending the graduation of a good friend (soon-to-be roommate?) on Saturday. Hopefully I'll be able to post while I'm there.
Also, I may be booking a pin-up style photoshoot here soon. Super exciting!!!! The photographer said she likes my look and is excited to work with me. I've never modeled before, though, so I'm kinda nervous. Of course, I'll post the pictures for you guys to see after I get them.
Off to bed so I can get up early early early tomorrow! Gettin contacts (FINALLY) at 9:30 am and have a 3 hour ride to get there.
G'night!!!
Love!!
Also, I may be booking a pin-up style photoshoot here soon. Super exciting!!!! The photographer said she likes my look and is excited to work with me. I've never modeled before, though, so I'm kinda nervous. Of course, I'll post the pictures for you guys to see after I get them.
Off to bed so I can get up early early early tomorrow! Gettin contacts (FINALLY) at 9:30 am and have a 3 hour ride to get there.
G'night!!!
Love!!
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